Family Guy Scene

Hi all. I'm working on a Family Guy episode. Whether I do anything with it is another story. I'm just a huge fan of the show. It's my kind of comedy and I think I could write a good episode. Here is a scene from the episode I'm working on. Peter can communicate with animals.

Feedback greatly appreciated.

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SCENE 1 - VET
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A sparrow is lying on the vet's table. It's chirping away at the vet.

Vet
What is he saying?

Peter
He says it's his wings. He says clip his wings.

Bird (shaking his head rapidly and shouting)
No! No! Please!

Vet
Are you sure that's what he's saying?

Peter
Come on, what do you take me for? He also said can you replace them with eagle ones.

Vet
What?

Peter
He want's eagles wings.

Vet
I'm afraid that won't be possible

Peter
He said Hawk will be fine

Vet
I'm sorry but we can't possibly replace his wings with that of any species but his own.

Peter
Propellers?

Vet opens the birds mouth

Peter
He said screw you

The vet has had the birds beak open the whole time

Vet
With his mouth open?

Peter
Yea. He's saying it now.....oh and now....and now........and now.......now he's singing it

Vet
Are you sure that's not just you making that up?

Peter
Maybe

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SCENE 2 - SPOONER STREET / OUTSIDE GRIFFIN HOME
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Peter pulls up outside the house with the bird (bird is out of view)

Lois
Peter, what have you done to that poor bird?

Peter
You mean the other poor bird Lois?

Lois
What? You killed another bird to fix this one?

Peter
No there was nothing wrong with this one, I just thought his wings were a little too small.

Lois
Peter. It's a sparrow, it's supposed to have small wings.

Peter
It's okay Lois. The other bird I killed, I swear it's the only one I've ever seen in my life.

Reveal sparrow with Hyacinth Macaw wings

Lois
Peter. That was a Hyacinth Macaw. They're one of the most endangered species in the world.

Peter
Yea but would it win a fight with a lion?

Seemed a little tame, what would of been the set up for the cut away?

Quote: Gavin @ February 17 2010, 10:55 AM GMT

Seemed a little tame, what would of been the set up for the cut away?

View original

Hey Gavin

Thanks for the feedback?

As far as the setup goes, I'll be putting up more scenes with a look to the full episode soon.

Cheers
Craig

There's an idea here for a random cut away. Not sure the writing is strong enough yet though. But writing for a favourite show is always good fun and good exercise.

Quote: Leevil @ February 17 2010, 3:37 PM GMT

There's an idea here for a random cut away. Not sure the writing is strong enough yet though. But writing for a favourite show is always good fun and good exercise.

View original

Thanks Leevil. I couldn't agree more regards writing for your favourite show. I'm working some random scenes and ideas before getting the episode well and truly underway.

Thanks for the feedback.

I though these were quite close to the writing in the show and both scenes were funny. If I were to choose I'd pick the 1st scene. I loved the last line.

Quote: Otterfox @ February 17 2010, 5:20 PM GMT

I though these were quite close to the writing in the show and both scenes were funny. If I were to choose I'd pick the 1st scene. I loved the last line.

View original

Thanks Otter. Great feedback...well as positive as I've received

I like the last line myself. In fact, I do like it all. I feel it's very much what the characters would/could say and the scenes...well...anything goes in Family Guy!

Family Guy is my favourite show for a reason, it appeals to my taste of humour and the comedy I enjoy writing myself so I find it not so much easy to write but I can relate really well with the characters and I like to think I can build good/funny scenes. I've only just started out with the various scenes and cutaways. I'll be posting them up on a regular basis. This way I should be able to gauge what works and what doesn't - at least that's the plan.

Cheers again
Craig

This is good, Family Guy is one of my favourite shows much for the same reasons as you Craig.
This scene would fit right in with a "Remember when I tried to help that bird out that flew into the window" cut away that Family Guy so often does...

Keep up the good work

I am a big fan of Family Guy as well.

I enjoyed this Craig and I could certainly see and hear the first scene playing out in my head.

I'd be keen to see your future attempts, particularly when you go for something a bit muckier/shocking

Quote: James @ February 26 2010, 1:02 PM GMT

I am a big fan of Family Guy as well.

I enjoyed this Craig and I could certainly see and hear the first scene playing out in my head.

I'd be keen to see your future attempts, particularly when you go for something a bit muckier/shocking

View original

Many thanks James.

I've got alot of scenes down now (some muckier ones in there too) but I'm going to put up a good part of an episode opposed to a few extracts. Would love to hear what you think. I'll send you a PM with a link when its ready for slating!