Nearly caved in today and I had good reason but didn't. Do weekends count?
Writers Club. Page 2
Quote: Marc P @ February 25 2010, 10:29 PM GMTNearly caved in today and I had good reason but didn't. Do weekends count?
No they don't. Even better, weekends now officially start on Thursdays.
Shit
You're making me feel like a pusher.
I'll be strong!
I'll leave my Whiskey Sketch for another day.
That's a lovely neat bit of comedy, strong characters and a pleasant if expected punchline.
Shades of Little Britain in a good way.
Quote: sootyj @ February 25 2010, 10:52 PM GMTShades of Little Britain in a good way.
Did someone say Molly Sugden?
Quote: sootyj @ February 25 2010, 10:52 PM GMTShades of Little Britain
And here's David wearing them
...and back to critique.
Nitpicking, I would say it's perhaps a little too long - it reads okay but if acted out I don't think it would come across well/natural.
I thought the final line was a little forced and not as funny as it could have been? Perhaps just a simple "Some people. Just don't know when to listen".
Other than that I thought it was pretty funny especially with having no jokes.
I think this sketch is an idea worth developing.
Cheers all
Quote: Craig H @ February 26 2010, 11:45 AM GMT...and back to critique.
I thought the final line was a little forced and not as funny as it could have been? Perhaps just a simple "Some people. Just don't know when to listen".
Other than that I thought it was pretty funny especially with having no jokes.
Cheers.
I did change the last line just before posting and it isn't great, yours is good though.
Quote: Marc P 74 @ February 26 2010, 7:35 PM GMTI think this sketch is an idea worth developing.
Cheers Marc
It's not quite there, but It might be worth a rewrite, or rethink, I won't bin it just yet in any case.
You executed the idea quite well but it didn't really seem structured as a sketch, so are you just experimenting with the character to maybe do something with it? i.e. put the character in a longer piece.
As it is it isn't particularly funny more an exercise in representing a certain character type. Maybe a few character twists and turns along the way, breaking from the subject matter of writing and talking inappropriately about her personal life might make it fit more as a sketch? Otherwise it is all a bit 'one-note'.
Yeah it's completely one note, and deliberately so.
In my head it was funny, but it doesn't have great depth or twists & turns.
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ February 26 2010, 8:00 PM GMTYeah it's completely one note, and deliberately so.
In my head it was funny, but it doesn't have great depth or twists & turns.
Yes, sorry, I thought you had done it intentionally. (Press invisible IGNORE button next to Giggle-o's comments).