My take on Michael's character is that he uses politics to vent his spleen. And there is a lot of spleen to vent, because he doesn't fit in. Despite being a mummy's boy, he also comes across as sarcastic, bitter and snide - maybe this is bubbling away just beneath the surface, but it's definitely there, especially when he talks about his friends. This gives him a bit of an edge, which works really well. Good luck with the recording.
Quote: Drew @ February 17 2010, 12:36 AM GMTMy take on Michael's character is that he uses politics to vent his spleen. And there is a lot of spleen to vent, because he doesn't fit in. Despite being a mummy's boy, he also comes across as sarcastic, bitter and snide - maybe this is bubbling away just beneath the surface, but it's definitely there, especially when he talks about his friends. This gives him a bit of an edge, which works really well. Good luck with the recording.
I agree he doesn't fit in and he does have certain angst with the world especially his so called friends but I've never looked at him as bitter. I don't mind that bubbling under but I don't really want to play him to sarcastic or snide. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
There's too much humour derived from the exposition. Which is obviously important in a monologue, but seeing as this isn't a true monologue, what with things going on around him, I don't think it works as well in this case. And I don't think it's your strongest point. Even though I couldn't guess what the punches would be, I wasn't surprised when I read them. Especially seeing as, like has already been noted he shares similarities with Tory Boy.
But apart from that, I think the character is a good idea, what with the Tories *spits* supposedly doing so well atm. He seems pretty well rounded and I think if you brought in a good (topical) gag writer. You'd be on to a strong character.
You'd probably get a better effect if he spoke into a web cam, or at least every other scene it cut to a 'Tory Cam Diary' or something?
Good luck with it. 
Quote: Leevil @ February 17 2010, 12:03 PM GMTThere's too much humour derived from the exposition. Which is obviously important in a monologue, but seeing as this isn't a true monologue, what with things going on around him, I don't think it works as well in this case. And I don't think it's your strongest point. Even though I couldn't guess what the punches would be, I wasn't surprised when I read them. Especially seeing as, like has already been noted he shares similarities with Tory Boy.
But apart from that, I think the character is a good idea, what with the Tories *spits* supposedly doing so well atm. He seems pretty well rounded and I think if you brought in a good (topical) gag writer. You'd be on to a strong character.
You'd probably get a better effect if he spoke into a web cam, or at least every other scene it cut to a 'Tory Cam Diary' or something?
Good luck with it.
Okay fair point about too much humour derived from the exposition but once it's acted out surely this will be resolved. Also I think there isn't that much of a similarity between him and Tory Boy, I think Michael is a lot more of a enthusiastic geek with a interest in politics with yearns of normality in his life rather then the vile and loathsome Tory Boy.
I'm glad you thought the character was a good idea and although there will be references to current events I don't think I want to turn it into a topical sketch. He's telling his own story with the framework of the politics being more in the background rather then the foreground.
The Tory Cam Diary was something I also came up with and will do when I do a filmed version.
Thank you very much for the feedback.
The humour doesn't come from the exposition the humour comes from his total lack of self awareness. And the Welsh accent. Very good stuff looking forward to hearing it.
Quote: James Cotter @ February 17 2010, 12:25 PM GMTI'm glad you thought the character was a good idea and although there will be references to current events I don't think I want to turn it into a topical sketch. He's telling his own story with the framework of the politics being more in the background rather then the foreground.
Yeah, fair enough on not wanting to do topical. I understand you're more character based comedy. I was just thinking about the fact that apart from being quite conservative, what else makes him a Tory? (In regards to the current sketch).
Quote: Marc P @ February 17 2010, 12:29 PM GMTThe humour doesn't come from the exposition the humour comes from his total lack of self awareness. And the Welsh accent. Very good stuff looking forward to hearing it.
I'm looking forward to doing my 
accent. I'm glad you enjoyed it and when I record it I will let you all judge where the humour comes from then.
Quote: Marc P @ February 17 2010, 12:29 PM GMTThe humour doesn't come from the exposition the humour comes from his total lack of self awareness.
Yes, but from what I understood, he is aware and is begrudgingly the way he is, because of his mother.
Quote: Leevil @ February 17 2010, 12:31 PM GMTYeah, fair enough on not wanting to do topical. I understand you're more character based comedy. I was just thinking about the fact that apart from being quite conservative, what else makes him a Tory? (In regards to the current sketch).
He buys jumpers from Marks and Spencer, he reads the Daily Mail, he's slightly homophobic, Margaret Thatcher is his idol woman and he's grown up only really knowing a Labour government and because he's had a unhappy life so far he blames his circumstances on them.
Quote: Leevil @ February 17 2010, 12:34 PM GMTYes, but from what I understood, he is aware and is begrudgingly the way he is, because of his mother.
I have to agree with you there. He has got some lack of self-awareness but on the whole he understands what's happening around him and that's what makes him more of a sadder character.
I wouldn't have the noises off James keep it all contained in his own little world, by all means have him report what he might be hearing but we shouldn't actually hear it. IMNSHO
And I notice critique does not appear in active threads now. Lol.
Quote: Marc P @ February 17 2010, 1:09 PM GMTAnd I notice critique does not appear in active threads now. Lol.
Edit your profile - click here and tick the box in the 'Make It' area, where it says "I'm a writer, stand-up, actor, producer or director".
Sorry for the thread hijack, James.
Quote: Marc P @ February 17 2010, 1:09 PM GMTI wouldn't have the noises off James keep it all contained in his own little world, by all means have him report what he might be hearing but we shouldn't actually hear it. IMNSHO
You really think so? I like the noise off I think it brings a undercurrent of sadness to it all while he's talking. You get a real feeling your there with him. I don't really want to add dialogue in explaining what's going on. I think the noises off are away of establishing the character and his world with out the extensive use of dialogue.
Quote: Leevil @ February 17 2010, 1:17 PM GMTEdit your profile - click here and tick the box in the 'Make It' area, where it says "I'm a writer, stand-up, actor, producer or director".
Sorry for the thread hijack, James.
Did it yesterday.
Quote: James Cotter @ February 17 2010, 1:25 PM GMTYou really think so? I like the noise off I think it brings a undercurrent of sadness to it all while he's talking. You get a real feeling your there with him. I don't really want to add dialogue in explaining what's going on. I think the noises off are away of establishing the character and his world with out the extensive use of dialogue.
Did it yesterday.
Yes but you would be wrong James.
Quote: Marc P @ February 17 2010, 1:25 PM GMTYes but you would be wrong James.
I feel it's more of a help then hindrance to the dialogue and it also makes it more of a enjoyable listening experience for the audience. Though you are more experienced then me so I take the comment onboard and will think about it
It makes it not a monologue is the problem James.