TWO WOLVES (DAVE & ROB) ARE SITTING IN A COTTAGE HAVING A CUP OF TEA
DAVE:
So all I'm saying mate, is if you are going to dress as an old lady, try to cover up the eyes & the teeth, otherwise it's a dead giveaway.
ROB:
To be honest I would have thought it's pretty hard to pull off regardless.
A THIRD WOLF (BRIAN) COMES RUSHING IN.
BRIAN:
Boy! Boy! Quick lads there's a shepherd boy outside.
DAVE:
Come on Rob, looks like lunchtimes come early.
ROB:
Nice one! I'm starving.
THE WOLVES ALL RUSH OUTSIDE.
DAVE:
Where did he go?
BRIAN:
Where did who go?
ROB:
The little shepherd boy.
BRIAN:
Oh that! I made it up. sorry guys I was a bit bored.
ROB:
Oy! Don't cry Boy when there's no boy!
BRIAN:
Oh come on It's just a giggle.
DAVE:
You are such a twat sometimes Brian.
CAPTION: THE NEXT DAY
ROB & DAVE ARE AT THE TABLE AGAIN
DAVE:
So there I am Rob, I'm huffing, I'm puffing...
ROB:
And still nuffing
DAVE:
That's the problems with those new builds, they make them far too strong nowadays.
BRIAN COMES RUSHING IN AGAIN
BRIAN:
Boy! Boy! There's a little shepherd boy outside!
DAVE:
You're not lying again are you Brian?
BRIAN:
No I swear, there's a delicious shepherd boy right outside, quick before he get's away.
ROB:
Well come on then! What are we waiting for!
THE WOLVES ALL RUSH OUTSIDE AGAIN.
DAVE & ROB LOOK AROUND URGENTLY FROM LEFT TO RIGHT AND THEN STARE AT BRIAN WHO IS LOOKING THE OTHER WAY & WHISTLING INNOCENTLY.
DAVE:
Erm... Brian?
ROB:
There aren't any shepherd boys out here are there Brian?
BRIAN:
Aaaaah - I gotcha again. honestly if you could see your faces.
DAVE:
Just piss off Brian!
CAPTION: THE NEXT DAY
DAVE:
And they pulled out the next ball, number 11 Aston Villa at home.
ROB:
Wooah the last thing you need is a Derby at that stage of the season.
BRIAN RUSHES IN AGAIN
BRIAN:
Boy! Boy! There's a little shepherd boy outside.
DAVE:
Yeah.. right
BRIAN:
No seriously, I know I said it before.. twice, but this time it's true.
ROB:
What-ever!
BRIAN:
No I'm really serious this time
THEY BOTH STICK TWO FINGERS UP AT BRIAN
BRIAN SHRUGS AND WALKS OUTSIDE.
CUT TO:
BRIAN SITTING CHEWING ON A HUMAN LEG THERE IS A CROOK AT HIS FEET
BRIAN: (TO CAMERA)
I know there's probably a moral to this story, but I'm buggered if I know what it is.
END
