Morrace
Saturday 6th February 2010 11:23pm [Edited]
2,727 posts
Agree with some re. directions. E.G. the direction 'A VERY DODGY LOOKING MEXICAN IN A SOMBRERO AND PORN-TASH. THE MEXICAN SMILES SHOWING HIS DIRTY TEETH.' could just read 'A VERY DODGY LOOKING MEXICAN' -leave it to casting, make-up & costumes (they know what a DODGY LOOKING MEXICAN looks like) - plus it's easier to read.
Also some of the dialogue needs pruning, e.g.
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AL: Hi, Ray isn't it? The new guy? Welcome to my office. Can you give me a hand with this?
BECOMES:
AL: Hi Ray, the new guy. Give me a hand?
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