I've been reading some of the posts on here for a few weeks now and have decided to share some of my rejected vox pops and one-liners from this series so far (some of them are a few weeks old now):
Vox Pop:
I heard that a man this week was arrested for sexually assaulting a donkey. I bet he felt an ass.
Vox Pop:
The Tories have promised that they really can deliver spending cuts and I believe them. They've already given us a cheap Tony Blair knock-off for a start.
Vox Pop:
I can't believe that Mandelson has promised an extra holiday for the Queen's jubilee. As if she's doesn't have enough time off as it is.
Vox Pop:
I think Channel Four were being a little too literal when they put Alec Baldwin's younger sibling on a show called "Celebrity Big Brother".
Vox Pop:
I'm glad to hear Gordon Brown has promised to create more middle-class jobs because, and lets be honest here, we've all been saying how there aren't enough lawyers, accountants and assistant regional managers these days.
Vox Pop:
I read in the news that students only have a ten-minute attention span. Or something like that, I got distracted halfway through reading the article.
Vox Pop:
Did you hear about all those New Yorkers who took part in the "no pants subway ride"? I mean talk about barefaced cheek!
Vox Pop:
I am so angry that the government is going to be buying off the Taliban. I didn't like it when they bailed out RBS but nationalising terrorists is definitely a step too far!
Vox Pop:
I turned up at Tesco's last week only to find out that I was banned from the store because I was wearing my nightware. But then I do sleep in the nude, so maybe they had a point.
Joke for Miles:
Reports this week indicate women take longer than men to get a joke; probably because their pretty little heads are thinking about shopping and stuff. Don't worry guys; I'm safe saying that. I'll have a 30 second head-start before any of them get it.
Joke for Miles:
Now I know a lot of people are calling for John Terry to step down from the England Captaincy but we at Newsjack were absolutely thrilled at the news that he's been playing away from home. We were worried we wouldn't have any use for all the leftover Tiger Woods jokes.
Joke for Miles:
In other news this week, Bill Gates has donated six billion pounds to charity. There's not a joke coming here, I just thought it would be nice to mention it.
