My take on the Thatcher eggs story. A little subtler than the one they used, but not much. Best read in Lewis's Brown voice.
*
FX: DOOR-KNOCK
AIDE
Are you still in there? You were expected in Cabinet twenty minutes ago. Prime Minister?
BROWN
(BEHIND A DOOR, IN SOME PAIN) I'm not finished yet.
AIDE
But everybody's waiting for you. You don't want the Millibands getting all tired and cross, do you? How long have you been in there?
BROWN
Two hours.
AIDE
Two hours?! Prime Minister, how many eggs did you eat?
BROWN
Thirty. Ish.
AIDE
Thirty?! Gordon, just because it worked for Mrs Thatcher, doesn't mean it will work for you.
BROWN
I panicked! I thought if I ate enough eggs I'd be bound to win the election. But now I'm just bound.
AIDE
Shall I tell the Cabinet to come back later?
BROWN
Would you? Oh, and Sally..?
AIDE
Yes?
BROWN
Could you bring me some more crosswords? And some Bran Flakes. Thanks.
END