British Comedy Guide

NJ: Yet another iPad sketch

SAN FRANCISCO PRESS CONFERENCE AFTER APPLE IPAD LAUNCH

JOURNALIST 1:
Mr Jobs! Is it true that Microsoft have already written a malicious program to crack the iPad?

STEVE JOBS:
That's correct – it's called "the Bathroom Scales app".

JOURNALIST 2:
Mr Jobs! Will Apple be releasing other versions of the iPad?

STEVE JOBS:
Yes, we have a waterproof model in the pipeline.

JOURNALIST 3:
Mr Jobs! What about games? What's your favourite game for the iPad?

STEVE JOBS:
Well, I love the soccer game, but I guess my favourite is the table tennis game. Of course you've got to switch the iPad off first. And don't hit the ball too hard.

JOURNALIST 4:
Mr Jobs! Rumour has it that Apple is experimenting with AI. Can you comment on this?

STEVE JOBS:
You refer to the Artificial Intelligence iPad, which is already becoming aware of its own price. (PAUSE) It's also shock-proof. In fact, all iPad models are extremely robust.

JOURNALIST 5:
So if I'm on a picnic, and it's been raining, can I sit on the iPad to keep my butt dry?

(LAUGHTER AND JEERING FROM OTHER JOURNALISTS.)

STEVE JOBS:
(SHOUTS FURIOUSLY) I don't have to take this abuse. Get that bum out of here -

(COMMOTION AS THE SECURITY GUARDS MOVE TO ESCORT THE JOURNALIST FROM THE PRESS CONFERENCE.)

- is what the iPad would say, if you were dumb enough to sit on it.

Hi Drew,

I think a lot of people will have gone for an iPad theme this week, making it really tough to stand out.

I think Jobs would have said 'Get that asshole out of here'. It sounds a little ruder too.

I mentioned this on the NJ failures thread in Critique, so apologies for repeating, but there's this great sketch of Jobs revealing a new 'iRack', which people will always compare a 'Steve Jobs presents' sketch too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcjLEwZqcQI

Pretty tough to beat that one. One of Mad's best.

Cheers postscript.

No worries

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