Thanks guys for the great criticism. WHICH IS WHY I HAVE DECIDED TO BURN MY SCRIPT IN A FIRE. haha but seriously, this forum has some first rate critics, and I have a much clearer idea on where to go for my next idea.
Feedback on my script pretty prease engrish people Page 2
I nearly wet my pants laughing at the script, I think it's hilarious.
I don't think it is sitcom format though...i.e... beginning/muddle/end.
For sitcom mission, does one have to stick to the sitcom format or would the above script format be acceptable. I get confused.
I think I've said before that it is easier to write a humourous piece than to think up a full storyline, also some setting up of a storyline lessens the amount of laughs, whereby a piece without plot can go straight into laughs
I like the script very much though BJ and in this script I just loved the swearing, it's really funny when a character one normally doesn't associate with bad language swears and the fact that he went on and on swearing, doubled me up
Bushbaby will you marry me? haha thank you for your kind criticism!
You're right, I didn't pull off the beggining/muddle/ end. I just sat down and wrote it in 4 hours, without having any particular direction, other than a vague plot about chocolate Freddo's (which came about as I happened to be eating a chocolate Freddo at the time). I need to start off with a plot first next time, and let the funnies role out of the unfolding of that. Ultimately that is going to take more than 4 hours haha. But thanks for your comments, you have made my day!
Quote: BJ Penn @ January 27 2010, 6:48 PM GMTBushbaby will you marry me? haha thank you for your kind criticism!
You're right, I didn't pull off the beggining/muddle/ end. I just sat down and wrote it in 4 hours, without having any particular direction, other than a vague plot about chocolate Freddo's (which came about as I happened to be eating a chocolate Freddo at the time). I need to start off with a plot first next time, and let the funnies role out of the unfolding of that. Ultimately that is going to take more than 4 hours haha. But thanks for your comments, you have made my day!
I'd never marry again even if I got paid a million quid a day to do so