British Comedy Guide

Things you don't want to hear when you wake up. Page 4

Welcome to IKEA

Would Mr Bin Laden please report to the front desk, Your newest suicide bombe is beginning to wake up

We removed several items from your rectum and the man from the Guinness Book of Records will be here tomorrow.

Your dad likes spooning too.

Sfx from bathroom

"Do ya wanna be in my gang my gang my gang do ya wanna be in my gang...oh yeh!"

a lullabye

Prime Minister! Prime Minister! The Leader of the Opposition is still speaking !

Come on the vans waiting to take you to the court.......

ACTUALLY HAS HAPPENED TO ME AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT AGAIN!!!!!

Is it safe?

Scalpel please nurse.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ January 21 2010, 12:14 PM GMT

Scalpel please nurse.

rubbish

Quote: Timbo @ June 4 2009, 12:32 PM GMT

"...and now the scalpel please, sister."

much better

It's 2044. I'm afraid President Jedward says anyone over the age of 60 has to be euthanised. We thought we'd wait til you snapped out of your coma. Do you prefer needle or tiger?

Beedee Beedee Buck.

Quote: Timbo @ January 21 2010, 3:58 PM GMT

rubbish

If you're having the same ideas as me, I think that makes both of us a bit shit ;)

3 2 1 and your back in the torture dungeon.

I'm Derren Browna and hypnotism isn't just for channel 4.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ January 21 2010, 4:59 PM GMT

If you're having the same ideas as me, I think that makes both of us a bit shit ;)

Yes but I was shit first! :P

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