NJ: Burka Debate

BURKA DEBATE

MILES JUPP

Following the controversial comments made by former UKIP leader, Nigel Farage, we thought we'd arrange our very own Burka debate for you. Isn't that nice of us? In the interests of fairness we had arranged for a representative from the Labour party to be here, unfortunately, they've yet to turn up. But Fatima a practising Muslim is here, thanks for joining us.

FATIMA

(INDECIPHERABLE MUMBLING)

MILES JUPP

I'm really sorry, Fatima, but could you just put your mouth through the eyehole so we can hear you, please?

FX:

RUFFLING OF CLOTH

FATIMA

(GORDON BROWN) Och, open your ears! (POOR ATTEMPT AT A FEMALE VOICE) Sorry, I mean, I'm not a practising Muslim, I'm a proper one. (GIGGLES COYLY)

MILES JUPP

Don't you mean you're a 'Devout' Muslim, Fatima?

FATIMA

Don't tell me what I am! You white men are all the same, telling women what to do, what they are, we can think for ourselves, you know!

MILES JUPP

Uhm, Fatima, air quotes, you don't happen to know why the Labour representative hasn't arrived yet, do you?

FATIMA

(FALLS BACK IN TO GORDON BROWN) What do you mean '...the Labour representative hasn't arrived yet'? (RETURNS TO 'FATIMA') Oh, oh, sorry, just ignore me. (QUIETLY TO SELF AS G.B.) Be Fatima, Gordon, be Fatima, you can do it.

MILES JUPP

Well, it's not going to be much of a debate with just one person, I'm afraid Newsjackers, so...

FATIMA

(AS G.B.) Does that mean I've won?

MILES JUPP

Uhm , I suppose in any competitive situation with only one competitor you'll always be the winner, Gordon.

GORDON BROWN

Gordon? How did you know?

MILES JUPP

Well, I think what gave it away most was the fact you're Gordon Brown, Gordon. Either that or it's your very distinctive mouth.

GORDON BROWN

But I've still won the debate, haven't I?

MILES JUPP

Yes, ok Gordon. You've won, well done! But you do realise the election won't be this easy, there's more than one candidate in that, you know?

GORDON BROWN

Well, we'll see about that, won't we, Miles?

MILES JUPP

Is that a threat, Gordon?

GORDON BROWN

Och no! But if they're listening, they'd better watch out when they're crossing the road.

MILES JUPP

So it is a threat then?

GORDON BROWN

Well, yes. But I'm not going to say that now, am I?

MILES JUPP

I think you just have, Gordon.

GORDON BROWN

Oh, damn you, you crafty genius!

END OF SKETCH

You hated it didn't you?

Hey Giggle-o

I thought it was too long and didn't really make me laugh much. I didn't really buy-in to the idea, but then I haven't been aware of the story.

Sorry

Dan

Thanks DS and GP.

I really struggled this week and just hurried this out, I did wonder about the 'pull your Burka down' line and the whole thing in general, come to that. Anyway, very good of you to let me know your thoughts.

Thanks guys.

(Good luck GP, hope the edited sketch gets through the sift)

It was better than my "Ban the berks" effort, which I didn't even bother sending in.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ January 19 2010, 6:36 PM GMT

It was better than my "Ban the berks" effort, which I didn't even bother sending in.

View original

I don't think I should have bothered either! It seemed like a particularly difficult week to find inspiration. Haiti, Cadbury's/Kraft... not much else. I suppose like Dan Tetsell was alluding to, sometimes the quiet weeks are better because it forces people to think outside the box (*cliche cringe*) so they probably don't have to read so many repeated jokes. I didn't even bother sending any vox pops or corrections in.

The biggest problem with this one for me is the set up. Why is there only one person in the debate? Why is GB disguising himself? There are other "whys?" as well. If the audience is asking "why" too much then you don't have their full attention and if you don't have their full attention they aren't going to laugh as much as you want.

Quote: Badge @ January 19 2010, 6:53 PM GMT

The biggest problem with this one for me is the set up. Why is there only one person in the debate? Why is GB disguising himself? There are other "whys?" as well. If the audience is asking "why" too much then you don't have their full attention and if you don't have their full attention they aren't going to laugh as much as you want.

View original

Why?

Quote: Badge @ January 19 2010, 6:53 PM GMT

The biggest problem with this one for me is the set up. Why is there only one person in the debate? Why is GB disguising himself? There are other "whys?" as well. If the audience is asking "why" too much then you don't have their full attention and if you don't have their full attention they aren't going to laugh as much as you want.

View original

You ask very good questions Badge. They provide me with the answer.

Cheers

Hey Giggle-o. I'm afraid I didn't really think this came over as considered as you other stuff, it seemed a little forced. I too am having lots of trouble writing to a theme or subject, that's why I always do the skit comp (with varying degrees of success).

I find the idea of Gordon brown disguising himself pretty amusing I just think you need to find the right context though. Don't give up, I find I learn a lot more from a bad sketch and its responses than a good one with a load of smiley faces for feedback.

Quote: scratchyr @ January 19 2010, 7:02 PM GMT

Hey Giggle-o. I'm afraid I didn't really think this came over as considered as you other stuff, it seemed a little forced. I too am having lots of trouble writing to a theme or subject, that's why I always do the skit comp (with varying degrees of success).

I find the idea of Gordon brown disguising himself pretty amusing I just think you need to find the right context though. Don't give up, I find I learn a lot more from a bad sketch and its responses than a good one with a load of smiley faces for feedback.

View original

Yeah, I wrote it as it came, no real editing, or stopping to think. The only idea I really had was someone hiding inside a burka during a debate and as Newsjack almost always features a GB sketch I thought why not put him in the burka! The ending of him killing the other candidates was a complete tag on, I just didn't have any idea where to take it.

Thanks scratch.

I think the idea of Gordon B disguising himself is good, but I'm not sure he's so good for a foolish character. Maybe if there was a better link between him and burkas/muslims/religion/racist remarks. Changing party might be interesting, I can see Bojo in a Berk, that old Etonian prankster. "Oh golly, I'm dying for a fag in here. Have you seen Smythe or Fortesque?"

"School finished about 35 years ago Boris. Are you coming out?"

"Drat. Foiled!"

That's some kind of scenario I can imagine.

Quote: BardManners @ January 23 2010, 1:22 AM GMT

I think the idea of Gordon B disguising himself is good, but I'm not sure he's so good for a foolish character. Maybe if there was a better link between him and burkas/muslims/religion/racist remarks. Changing party might be interesting, I can see Bojo in a Berk, that old Etonian prankster. "Oh golly, I'm dying for a fag in here. Have you seen Smythe or Fortesque?"

"School finished about 35 years ago Boris. Are you coming out?"

"Drat. Foiled!"

That's some kind of scenario I can imagine.

View original

Where were you when I needed you?! It's two weeks too late now!

BTW Thanks BardManners and Welcome!