The bank manager offers you a cup of tea in a little cubicle.
Some blousy tart with fake hair says "Come on girls we all goes know..." like she's your friend or something.
You buy your car insurance from an improbable opera singer, or a trust worty looking bulldog.
You're awake
You're Velcro.
Quote: The Giggle-o @ January 16 2010, 11:24 PM GMTYou're Velcro.
Alistair Darling opens his mouth
You go to the supermarket
You look at the price of petrol
You ask "How much does this cost?"
You visit anywhere where you have to spend any money
The pilot tells you you've landed in the UK
(Sorry ... I harbour loads of deeeeeep resentment)
They wheel you and your adjoined twin into the operating theatre
you say "Do you speak English?"
you answer the phone and hear: "You've been chosen for our exclusive offer!"
you receive a message saying "Congratulations - you've won a major prize. To find out what it is simply phone..."
You sign up for something that is only £1.50 A DAY!
The terms and conditions are read at light speed
Quote: The Giggle-o @ January 16 2010, 11:24 PM GMTYou're Velcro.
PMSL 
Two goons frogmarch you from a strip club to a cashpoint.
You've been to the postoffice 3 times to collect your Thai bride.
And someone from the back office keeps shooting pingpong balls at you.
You enter a brothel that charges by the hour....
You see Gordon Brown on the telly.
You're a particularly yummy scab.
You get a makeover and still look like Susan 'Boil' Boyle
You ask for the bill and the waiter smiles.