"This won't hurt, you'll be dead"
Things you never want to hear your Dr say Page 2
How would you like to have a disease named after you?
This won't hurt..................me that is
ok Cough, now sneeze, now splutter, who's your daddy?
Appendix eh? - ok to examine you properly I'm going to have to put my finger up your bottom.
It was like that before I touched it
You're in the late stages of cancer............. APRIL FOOL
Stomach eh? - ok to examine you I'm going to have to put my finger up your bottom.
Oops made a bit of a pigs dinner out of that didn't I?
I'm glad you asked me that, I've always wanted to look at a living man's penis.
Headache eh? - ok to examine you I'm going to have to put my finger up your bottom.
Appendix - Kidney - hey potayto potarto
Are you a hermaphrodite or is it just chilly in here?
Your scrotum does look a little like an old ladies elbow..
'Am I supposed to cough now?'
'err..no, you're balls just feel lovely and bouncy'
You've got '10 left to live.
10 Years, months, weeks?
10 9 8 7....
I must dash, the doctor will be in any minute though.
"I spy with my little eye, a tumour begining with T"
Where's the midget anethatist? If you don't find him you're paying for the replacement.
If you don't bring your own instructions how am I supposed to know how to put you back together again?
"Good Lord, who would have thought that it could cross into humans."
"I had best tell the World Health Organisation that it hasn't been eliminated after all."
"I flew in by Lufthansa yesterday."
Quote: Timbo @ January 16 2010, 10:28 PM GMT"Good Lord, who would have thought that it could cross into humans."
"I had best tell the World Health Organisation that it hasn't been eliminated after all."
Now, what I need you to do is look up the word Terminal in a dictionary and ignore all the parts about plants, electricity & bus stops.
[quote name="Timbo" post="576017" date="January 16 2010, 10:28 PM GMT
"I flew in by Lufthansa yesterday."[/quote]
In a heavy German/Nigerian accent?
Topical nice one.
This part of the job always makes me feel a bit like James Herriot.
"What a peculiar flavour"
"What's that smell"
"Lift that up for me, please"
My uncle is the former finance minister for Nigeria. He currently holds $180,000,000 and is looking for a way to remove the money from the country. If you could give the nurse your bank details.......
DOC: Are you dead?
PATIENT: No.
DOC: Hmm... You look dead.