Quote: yo_diamond @ January 15 2010, 8:53 PM GMTTopical comedy at the Beeb is in the grip of the Oxbridge mafia. My worry is, who is reading these sketches ? a hassled intern who doesn't hugely care?
Elsie is right, this comment is bollocks.
Newsjack Quickie Failures Page 6
Quote: Kevin Murphy @ January 15 2010, 9:43 PM GMTElsie is right, this comment is bollocks.
ARGH.
Quote: Elise B @ January 15 2010, 9:50 PM GMTARGH.
Yeah! Rage against the bollocks, Elsie!
Quote: yo_diamond @ January 15 2010, 8:53 PM GMTWell, I thought my stuff was topical and decent.
To be honest there was nothing there that grabbed me.
Mind you my own contributions were no better.
I suspect the truth is that topical comedy is hard, and that if the standard of the show is not great then this is a case where you can blame the writers. Us.
Yo Diamond they're all good ideas but they're not constructed as gags.
They're more like statements.
My first posting in critique! Here are my efforts from last week. Funny how they don't seem as funny as when you send them off!
VOXPOPS:
POSH SCHOOLBOY
The snow was fantastic but Headmaster said we were only allowed to build non-gender specific snow sculptures, without vegetable appendages, which had to reflect the tolerant multi-cultural society we live in. So I battered Fatty Jenkinson instead.
CORRECTIONS:
In last week's show we highlighted the unveiling of the first double portrait of Princes William and Harry which had gone on display at The National Portrait Gallery. During the item we incorrectly stated that the princes had been so pleased with the finished painting, they commissioned *two* copies for Father's Day.
In our last show we incorrectly reported that Iris Robinson, the wife of Northern Ireland's first minister, had an extensive knowledge of exotic dark wood furniture. We now accept that Mrs Robinson knows nothing about monogamy.
Quote: will Cam @ January 16 2010, 7:57 PM GMTMy first posting in critique! Here are my efforts from last week. Funny how they don't seem as funny as when you send them off!
VOXPOPS:
POSH SCHOOLBOY
The snow was fantastic but Headmaster said we were only allowed to build non-gender specific snow sculptures, without vegetable appendages, which had to reflect the tolerant multi-cultural society we live in. So I battered Fatty Jenkinson instead.CORRECTIONS:
In last week's show we highlighted the unveiling of the first double portrait of Princes William and Harry which had gone on display at The National Portrait Gallery. During the item we incorrectly stated that the princes had been so pleased with the finished painting, they commissioned *two* copies for Father's Day.
In our last show we incorrectly reported that Iris Robinson, the wife of Northern Ireland's first minister, had an extensive knowledge of exotic dark wood furniture. We now accept that Mrs Robinson knows nothing about monogamy.
Ha! I like these! Maybe you could use fewer words but they are pretty good IMHO. If I'm being picky the final one might work a bit better if last week the report said she *didn't* have a clue about exotic dark wood - then "we should have said she knows nothing about monogamy" could be the punch. I think the way you have it with the Newsjackers *actually* confusing mahogany and monogamy is less easy to buy into.
Good luck next time.
Yup all 3 are good but need a little bit of trimming to make it easier to get to the funny.
The Mahoganny one and the portrait gags are inspired.
Quote: Badge @ January 16 2010, 8:42 PM GMTHa! I like these! Maybe you could use fewer words but they are pretty good IMHO. If I'm being picky the final one might work a bit better if last week the report said she *didn't* have a clue about exotic dark wood - then "we should have said she knows nothing about monogamy" could be the punch. I think the way you have it with the Newsjackers *actually* confusing mahogany and monogamy is less easy to buy into.
Good luck next time.
Thanks Badge
I will take your views and Sootyj's on board. I agree on reflection they are too wordy and not punchy enough.
Quote: sootyj @ January 16 2010, 3:42 PM GMTYo Diamond they're all good ideas but they're not constructed as gags.
They're more like statements.
Yeah, I kind of know what you mean but you could say that about lot of satire and of some of the stuff posted on here. some good stuff, liked Badge's mahogany line. a decent script editor could have made whatever slight changes that are needed.
Some people don't like it, but I stand by what I said about Beeb's writing staff. I think beefing up writers room might have been a better idea than this Newsjack process.
Am I alone in thinking that the standard remains quite poor? Some better lines this week. Labour in 'dire straits' a nice, simple belter but the jobs one (2m out of work, the rest sat at home watching telly) was lame beyond belief.
The links on Have I got News are really really good I think. That is the standard you'd expect but then again maybe I'm out of sync with 'the people'. I certainly hope so!
For me, I think it's back to writer's yearbook, targeting agents and any producers. good luck people.
Here's my attempt at a correction. Rejected, needless to say.
Last week's episode of NewsJack contained an item about ITV's Ant and Dec in which we repeatedly referred to Ant as Dec, and Dec as Ant. We would like to make clear to listeners that when we said Ant, we meant Dec, and when we said Dec, we meant Ant. However, when we referred to the duo collectively as Ant and Dec, we actually meant Ant and Dec, which is correct. It was only when referring to them singly as Ant or Dec, that we mixed them up, referring to them erroneously as Dec or Ant. Sorry, Dec. I mean Ant. And sorry, Ant. Dec! Sorry.
Quote: enidcoleslaw @ January 18 2010, 6:28 PM GMTHere's my attempt at a correction. Rejected, needless to say.
Last week's episode of NewsJack contained an item about ITV's Ant and Dec in which we repeatedly referred to Ant as Dec, and Dec as Ant. We would like to make clear to listeners that when we said Ant, we meant Dec, and when we said Dec, we meant Ant. However, when we referred to the duo collectively as Ant and Dec, we actually meant Ant and Dec, which is correct. It was only when referring to them singly as Ant or Dec, that we mixed them up, referring to them erroneously as Dec or Ant. Sorry, Dec. I mean Ant. And sorry, Ant. Dec! Sorry.
Very nice! Perhaps a bit long, and better to end on the collective name being correct. But it's not very topical is it?
Thanks! Topical? Suppose not. But then, Ant and Dec are, surely, timeless.
OK. How about this?
FX: Hyper-active background music
MAX
Hi, and welcome to my so-hip-it-hurts round-up of the cultural highlights that are gonna make 2010 the most excitaining year of the decade so far! January sees the opening of the new Damien Hirst exhibition at the White Balls art space. Oh-so-punchable smug-machine Hirst is promising to molest our minds with his latest stuff, which includes a picture of a horse, a picture of the moon, and a picture of a duck! I caught up with the enfant-terrible of terrible art at his beautiful home, yesterday.
FX: Street sounds. Hurried footsteps
MAX
(Panting a little) It's Damien Hirst. Wow. Hello!
DAMIEN HIRST
Who the [beep] are you?
BACK IN THE STUDIO
MAX
And you can hear the rest of that interview on our website. February? More like FABruary! Exploding into cinemas is The Michael Sheen Story, starring Brian Clough as Michael Sheen, David Frost as Michael Sheen, Tony Blair as Michael Sheen, and Dame Helen Mirren as Dame Judi Dench. Tune in next week for more culturality!
Here are mine that didn't make it in episode 1 and 2:
I've just preordered that Michael Jackson DVD, This Is It. Now, I don't want to spoil it for anybody who hasn't seen the film, but... he dies at the end.
If Nick Griffin came to power, I reckon he'd do wonders for combatting climate change. Let's face it. Everywhere he goes, he cuts the atmosphere with a knife
I think my bank is in trouble again. I went there to discuss a bank loan and they wanted to know how much I can lend them.
I see Celebrity Big Brother has changed its format slightly this year... by not actually including any celebrities.
Blimey. Myleen Klass just waved a knife at me. Mind you, it's only fair. I was trying to steal her handbag at the time.
I can't believe David Cameron denied that the picture of him on the Tory Campaign poster had been airbrushed. Of course he was touched up. He went to Eton, for God's sake.
What's all this about priests being bullied by bishops? Don't get me wrong. I like religious people, but I couldn't eat a holy one.
My wife posed nude for a photographer the other day... which was really strange. She only went in for a passport photo.
My failures...
1) The NHS has unveiled controversial plans to pay fat people up to £1800 to lose weight. Not bad, but wouldn't it be more entertaining to pay supermarkets not to feed them.
2) The FBI this week released a picture of how Bin Laden may look today. It's comforting to know that the millions spent on intelligence can confirm Osama did in fact receive the Braun Multi Shaver for Christmas.
4) Music Bullet - N-Dubz "star" Dappy was dropped from anti-bullying charity 'Beat bullying' after sending threatening messages to a woman who expressed dislike for the band. We asked you the listeners to text in giving your views on Dappy's recent behavior… Unfortunately unless I want a 'cap –in - my - ass' these cannot be broadcast.
5) Sports Bullet – The FA have announced England will have no official World Cup song this summer in a bid to keep the players "focused on the football" this comes after Wayne Rooney was seen trying to count the number of lions on the front of his shirt during a world cup qualifying match.
6) What, the recession is over? Does that mean I have to stop watching Jeremy Kyle?
7) I think there's nothing wrong with an OAP having IVF treatment, that way you won't have to deal with the terrible teens.
Newsbullet – Living everyday like it's the last! Sign the petition online now!
Newsbullet – Because news doesn't have to be information.
Newsbullet - giving you the low-down coz we ain't guna slow down!
News Bullet - faster than David Cameron's can say 'graphic enhancing software.'