Noisy Neighbours

Possible animated short I was thinking about doing. But think it needs another joke. Any suggestions?

Cheers.

TITLE - 'NOISY NEIGHBOURS'

Dance music plays which is interrupted by a door bell.

INT. HOUSE

The door opens to reveal two policemen standing there.

A woman has answered the door.

POLICEMAN
Hello, miss. We've received a complaint about the noise?

Cut to woman.

WOMAN
Yes, that was me.

Back to police.

POLICEMAN
Well, we've just come to apologise and to promise to keep it down.

Cut to shocked woman.

Cut back to silent policeman with a party whistle, which he blows. Both smiling.

She slams the door shut.

The End.

Credits.

HOWABOUT extending the offence list to lead the audience away fron the
punchline...
Hello miss, we've received complaints about smoking dope; doing drugs; flashing over the garden fence; masturbating in public; rape; torture; urinating through letterboxes; Oh, and we also had a complaint about the noise level.

THE WOMAN: Dunno 'bout the other things. I only complained about the noise.

You don't need another joke. But the woman shouldn't be shocked - after all she complained.

The idea was that she didn't realise it was the police making the noise. But I suppose that's not obvious. So I'll drop that.

Nice suggestion Stephen. Might pop a few of them in.

Cheers.

Godot makes a nice point but it's a nice little badumtish.

Mind you I'd make them threaten to shut her up.

I need no threats to tell you to Shit it Sooty!

Go nice and simple Leevil, as a few above suggest. If you extend the list, it may give people time to guess the punch and I think it's only going to dilute what is the essence of the gag. Keep it short and it's a perfect setup and punch.

Cheers, A.

This is nice - doesn't need altering at all. Could see it on The Sketch Show (bless its soul).

You don't need the "Cut To"s; that the Directors job, not the Writer's.

Conversations like that are almost always filmed/recorded twice, once ove the shoulder of each speaker. Plus a third time with a long or middle shot.

To look more professional the script should look more like this:

FADE IN

INT. HOUSE HALLWAY -- NIGHT

The hallway has Christmas decorations. We hear dance music playing which is interrupted by a door bell.
A WOMAN opens the door to reveal two POLICEMEN standing there.

POLICEMAN
Hello, miss. We've received a complaint about the noise?

WOMAN
Yes, that was me.

POLICEMAN
Well, we've just come to apologise and to promise to keep it down.

The SECOND POLICEMAN produces a party whistle, which he blows. Both smiling

The woman appears shocked and slams the door shut.

FADE OUT

I appreciate that billwill. Although not that it matters but I am the director. It's a piece I'm going to animate myself.

Cheers anyway mate.

Quote: Stu R @ January 11 2010, 11:18 PM GMT

This is nice - doesn't need altering at all. Could see it on The Sketch Show (bless its soul).

View original

Cheers Stu.

Quote: Godot Taxis @ January 11 2010, 10:21 AM GMT

You don't need another joke. But the woman shouldn't be shocked - after all she complained.

View original

Makes this sketch twice as good.

Fine as it to me.
Funny & I didn't see the punch coming.
Great!