Just wrote this... What do ya think? I always worry too much chat about race could be cringey...
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RAP #1
Hi my name is Terry Billy
And if you don't know I've got a small willy
Check out my five inch
penis penis
Makes the ladies feel
Squeamish squeamish
Alright everybody. My names Terry Billy, aka square head, aka pirate of the Caribbean, aka chucky d ooh ooh represent
And like I said before, I've got a five inch penis.
And it makes the ladies feel squeamish. The problem with having a five inch penis is a bit like that goldilocks story. It's not too big, it's not too small, then again, it's just not quite right.
I used to think I did aright for myself. You know, all the men in men in pornos have massive appendages, and I was always fully aware that my penis is somewhat frail in comparison. but I always figured that pornstars were merely freaks of nature.
That's until I went into my local subway branch. "I'll take Italian BMT on a six inch loaf," I announced unwittingly, in front of this girl I was going out with at the time.
The next thing I know, I'm being trusted directly in the face with this massive oven baked phallus.
"The portions here are pretty big, right?," I said to my wide eyed girlfriend. "There no way this is what six inches looks like." But my penile friendly PR was fooling nobody. The six inch subway standard had spoken. She knew, at that very unfortunate moment in time, that she had been sexually serviced by a limp dicked toad for the past three years of life.
F**k me. If that's what's six inches really looks like then I'm probably pushing more like four, may four and half. No wonder she left me.
RAP #2
See, it's not about races
Just places
Faces
Where your blood
Comes from
Is where your space is
I've seen the light
Get duller
I'm not going to spend
My life being a colour
Racism eh. Now there a tricky topic. Look I'm not being racist but... F**k me.
If there's one thing, that makes a white person sound like a f**king racist, its announcing, before being racist, "that I'm not being racist but."
You might as well attach a five foot sign to your forehead announcing "I am a racist." You might as well shout it from the rooftops: I am a Racist! Why not
Post it on your face book, while you're at it: "omg, I am a racist, lol" White people: do not use that phrase, particularly at interracial dinner parties.
Now I've always had a somewhat problem with race, because, truth be told, I am racist. But it's cool, because I'm only racist towards white people. You see, I am not attracted to white women. And before you say it, that is not because I am paedophile. I'm sorry, I just don't find pasty skinned plain janes attractive
I once went out with this Chinese chick, and on the first time I took her home let's just say it created a little storm in my mum's English tea cup. That sounded weird, but never mind.
But seriously, it was unf**king believable. Hi, this is Julie, I said. My mum just sat their staring at the poor girl, as if she was an intergalactic space creature from mars.
"Hello, I- am – Laura", my mother stammered slowly, absolutely dumfounded that a genuine ethnic minority had stumbled into our house.
"would – you – like – a drink"? She asked. The girls was from f**king Essex, for f**ks sake.
You see, I'm a well travelled man. I've been out with girls emanating from the south Indian region, the Caribbean islands, and the Americas. You could call it sexual imperialism, if you like.
Sometimes when I go out, I like to embark on a bit what I call inter racial couple watching. It's a bit like bird watching, but involves inter racial couples, rather than pigeons.
I've seen black guys going out with white girls, I've seen white guys going out with black girls. I've seen Chinese girls going out with Indian guys, and Latinas with drunken Irish men.
We live in a multi cultural melting pot you see, and it's a wonderful thing. But seriously. If you spot a Malaysian lady boy dating an eastern European midget, please let me know. It's the last combination left on my list.
RAP #3
I see no changes wake up in the morning and I ask myself
is life worth living should I blast myself?
I'm tired of bein' poor & even worse I'm black
my stomach hurts so I'm lookin' for a purse to snatch
Racist stereotypes, eh? I don't know what the big deal is. Racist stereotypes, if anything work in favour of everybody, except for white people.
Check for example, Asian chaps. Before an Asian man has even opened his mouth, one assumes a number of things: You suspect he is good at maths. For some irrational reason, You also think he has an aptitude to succeed in business.
Heaven forbid you ever get into fisticuffs with him, because you strongly
believe he is capable of unloading some motrherf**king Jackie Chan shit in your face.
These racist stereotypes, whatever way you look at them, are surely positive things.
I mean, if your a black man, then you probably can't believe your luck. There you are, walking around, minding your own business, and for some bizarre reason, every member of the opposite sex assumes your cock is hanging seven feet down your trousers.
And what have us poor white guys got to be proud of? People assume we can't dance. Were known for owning of 5 inch penises. Well at least I am. Our women are slags, have flat bums and make bland food. White people are f**king shit! Granted, we could probably give someone a decent game of scrabble. But it's just not f**king good enough.
I reckon we should go round telling people were the best pussy lickers, or something like that.
