Newsjack - Series 2 Page 11

Well,no joy for me. Here are my submissions for this week. Please comment on my lack of success... These are my first ever attempts at writing so don't be too harsh,although any help will always be appreciated:

Vox Pops
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No. 1
What? The police are spending seventy grand a day hiring out cars? [PAUSE] I thought Sting was a bit of a greenie?

No. 2
Yeah well what about that arms truck that went missing in Yemen then? I mean, did the legs and torsos make it okay?

No.3
My predictions for 2010? See that Simon Cowell? See during the 2010 X Factor final. I can absolutely guarantee that he'll say, to whoever the star guest performing at the end is, that 'they've made it through to the next round'. (GETS ANGRY) And I'll tell you what. (ANGRIER) Everyone will laugh. (EVEN ANGRIER) 'Cause it is hilarious isn't it?! It's very, very funny!

Short joke
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Danish police have advised cartoonist Kurt Westergaard to increase security around his home after two more intruders attempted to break in. The nationality of the suspects is unknown, however, one yelled "meep, meep" at police before both fled the scene on an a Jet Propelled Pogo Stick.

Like I said, first ever attempts at writing. I am gona stick with short jokes/vox pops/corrections for the run of the show just try and improve my writing.

Thoughts?

Hi Jayaitch

Best keep this thread for comments about the show itself rather than critique of rejections. I'll start a new thread in critique for that here: https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/16346

Hi jayaitch,

This week was my first ever attempt at writing too, so we can celebrate being losers together. I'm not brave enough to post mine yet though.

I really like the last one. Maybe it was just too obscure. I'm incredibly thick, but I didn't get the first one (sorry).

And I wrote a prediction which included Simon Cowell, plus something on the X Factor. So we can console ourselves that they probably had hundreds of them. A joke would probably have to be very different/more unique to make it on that subject.

So a happy medium between Danish cartoonists and Simon Cowell for next week, and I reckon you've cracked it.

sorry Badge - I was typing my response as you wrote that.

Do we know yet if we're losers? It hasn't been broadcast yet! (Though I know it's been recorded. On tonight though.)

Quote: Chappers @ January 7 2010, 9:47 PM GMT

Do we know yet if we're losers? It hasn't been broadcast yet! (Though I know it's been recorded. On tonight though.)

View original

Look up a few posts and you'll see the list of writers. We're not in it.

Quote: Keeper @ January 7 2010, 9:44 PM GMT

I'm not brave enough to post mine yet though.

View original

I'd get out of that mindset if I were you. Brutal criticism, as long as it's constructive, is better than fawning praise, imho

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ January 7 2010, 9:49 PM GMT

I'd get out of that mindset if I were you. Brutal criticism, as long as it's constructive, is better than fawning praise, imho

View original

I'm just about to comment on yours...

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ January 7 2010, 9:49 PM GMT

I'd get out of that mindset if I were you. Brutal criticism, as long as it's constructive, is better than fawning praise, imho

View original

You're right - done it.

Quote: Badge @ January 7 2010, 9:48 PM GMT

Look up a few posts and you'll see the list of writers. We're not in it.

View original

Oh yeah. Missed that. Not really surprised but havig just listened I know more of what they're after - like I can write that!

Quote: jayaitch @ January 7 2010, 9:27 PM GMT

No.3
My predictions for 2010? See that Simon Cowell? See during the 2010 X Factor final. I can absolutely guarantee that he'll say, to whoever the star guest performing at the end is, that 'they've made it through to the next round'. (GETS ANGRY) And I'll tell you what. (ANGRIER) Everyone will laugh. (EVEN ANGRIER) 'Cause it is hilarious isn't it?! It's very, very funny!

Short joke
----------

Danish police have advised cartoonist Kurt Westergaard to increase security around his home after two more intruders attempted to break in. The nationality of the suspects is unknown, however, one yelled "meep, meep" at police before both fled the scene on an a Jet Propelled Pogo Stick.

View original

These 2 are excelent and I suspect it's only truly bad luck that would have kept them out.

THat and they could be a little tighter and neater.

So is this series not on Listen Again then?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00pmwlv

It is repeated Sunday night though (same time)

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ January 7 2010, 11:53 PM GMT

So is this series not on Listen Again then?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00pmwlv

View original

I think it will be, it's just not on yet. They don't put them up straight away after broadcast. You can podcast it as well.

Quote: Badge @ January 8 2010, 12:00 AM GMT

You can podcast it as well.

View original

Does that mean I have to go via iTunes? I uninstalled that piece of crap months ago. Or is there somewhere I can just get the MP3?

Several podcast options: http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/newsjack/

I have no idea what they all mean though - I'm so non-savvy about this sort of thing I used podcast as a verb earlier.