British Comedy Guide

Sex

Its been a while since I've had chance to write any sketches but here's one I've been kicking around the old brain. Thoughts will be greatly appreciated :)

INT. DOCTORS OFFICE - DAY

A man is sat opposite the doctor behind a desk.

DOCTOR
Right then Mr Jones, I'm just going to ask you a few quick questions.

MAN
Ok.

DOCTOR
Do you smoke?

MAN
Nope.

DOCTOR
Any history of heart disease in the family?

MAN
Not that I know of.

DOCTOR
Good. (BEAT) Are you sexually active?

MAN
Does rape count?

DOCTOR
(Outraged)
What! I've a good mind to call the police you evil shit!

MAN
(Sobbing)
I can't help it! They over-power me!

Love the punchline, but I think you need to change "Over-power" with "had me overpowered" perhaps. I know it's not my place to correct anyone, being a complete brain fart myself.

Loved it chris, I thought the punchline was going to be a bit shite but didn't see that coming.

Damn that would make a good one liner joke...

Good sketch and nice ending. The only thing I'd pick out is the section below:

Quote: Chris Forshaw @ January 2 2010, 4:12 AM GMT

MAN
The doctor looks disgusted.

DOCTOR
(Outraged)
What! Get out now you disgusting man! I've a good mind to call the police you evil shit!

The doctor's words really negate the need for the directions: (outraged) and 'the doctor looks disgusted.'

Good sketch but I think the punchline is a little to lively.

I think if the Dr has a 1 word answer like whore or yes it might be snappier.

Agreed. Great punchline but reduce the doctor's final line to make it snappier.

Cheers for the comments gang. I have updated it with your comments in mind.

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