British Comedy Guide

The Ladies Man

Another 3am, on the spot sketch, here goes...

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT - 3AM

The sausage shaped clock on the wall reads 3:00AM, as Dick sits at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of coco. His flatmate Glen, walks in half asleep, he makes himself a brew.

GLEN
What's up with you mate?

DICK
I can't sleep.

GLEN
Go to bed then?

DICK
Yeah, thanks.

GLEN
I was only trying to help.

He walks over with a cup and joins Dick at the table.

GLEN (CONTINUED)
Why can't you sleep?

DICK
(Embarrassed mumble)
There's a prostitute in my bed.

GLEN
(Surprised)
What?

DICK
There's a prostitute, in my bed.

GLEN
Cool, can I go and see?

DICK
What? No! Why do you want to see that?

GLEN
Why wouldn't I want to see that?

After a slight hesitation, Dick stands up and Glen follows him to his bedroom.

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT - 3AM (CONTINUOUS)

Dick casually leans on the door frame, still holding his drink. Glen playfully rubs his hands together and then steps in to view.

GLEN
What the f**k?

CUT TO:

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT - 3AM

The girl lays on the bed, slashed open, the surrounding walls covered with blood splatter. A pool of red stretches out across the floor.

BACK TO:

INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT - 3AM

GLEN
She likes it f**king rough, doesn't she?

Dick nods his head and then takes a closer look.

DICK
Oh that's not the prostitute, ah she must've gotten away.

GLEN
(Amused)
Can't even keep a prostitute.

Glen pats him on the back.

GLEN (CONTINUED)
Goodnight mate.

DICK
(Gutted)
Yeah night.

Dick walks into his bedroom and closes the door (beat) A chainsaw sounds.

Glen continues to walk down the hall way, shaking his head in amusement.

END

Very dark...kinda amusing! By the way - love the lines ...

GLEN
Cool, can I go and see?

DICK
What? No! Why do you want to see that?

GLEN
Why wouldn't I want to see that?

Laughing out loud

The best line.

DICK
Gutted)

Liked it. Great dialogue. The one line I'd change would be "She likes it f**king rough", just because the violence of it is more palatable (and funny) if the characters are civil and good natured.

Also, if I had my way I'd cut out the bit in the kitchen and just have Glen go to Dick's room to find out what the noise is. Adding that extra location just seems unecessary.

It soooo reminds me of a sketch I have seen somewhere else, can't remember where though.

So not much help really.

Erm... how about that weather eh?

Quote: David Bussell @ October 11, 2007, 10:28 AM

Liked it. Great dialogue. The one line I'd change would be "She likes it f**king rough", just because the violence of it is more palatable (and funny) if the characters are civil and good natured.

Also, if I had my way I'd cut out the bit in the kitchen and just have Glen go to Dick's room to find out what the noise is. Adding that extra location just seems unecessary.

Cheers all.

The idea is to show how normal the set up is and then to be faced with something extremely graphic to contrast it. I understand minimalist is normally best, but to me for this sketch, I really want to contrast the two extremes.

Quote: Wildjesusfishkid @ October 11, 2007, 9:15 AM

The best line.

DICK
Gutted)

I'm glad someone noticed that.

:)

Very good.

So who are you going to get to play the prostitute?

Great sketch Leevil

Thanks Adam & Dave.

Seeing as you don't see the prostitute, no one :P

Quote: Leevil @ October 11, 2007, 12:26 PM

Thanks Adam & Dave.

Seeing as you don't see the prostitute, no one :P

Did I imagine thisbit?

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT - 3AM

The girl lays on the bed, slashed open, the surrounding walls covered with blood splatter. A pool of red stretches out across the floor.

The prostitute got away. That's a different woman he's killed, he's a psychopath.

Yey V. Good Leevil.

Thanks Charley :)

*cough*

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