British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 63

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ December 28 2009, 7:02 PM GMT

Homicides per 100,000 citizens

USA: 5.40
Iran: 2.93
UK: 2.03
England & Wales: 1.37
Saudi Arabia: 0.92

Iran and Saudi you can kill a family member or pretty much any one else and claim it was because they violated your honour. In some cases it's treated as man slaughter in many other it's treated as nothing.

Legalising killing is a great way to lower the murder rates.

And in the UK community policing actually works, boring and stodgy as it maybe to say that. CPOs etc providing a visible presence have lowered crime rates drastically.

We do have some big issues. Number one being burglary is a workable career because the chance of prosecution is so low.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ December 28 2009, 7:58 PM GMT

I lived in SF for a long while. Guns were illegal there, and most of the murder happened across the bridge in Oakland.

Anyway, your argument is flawed by the fact that Americans are Americans are Americans, regardless of skin colour.

San Francisco's murder rate is almost 20% higher than the national average. And what was the racial makeup of Oakland, by the way? It may not be politically correct to say it, but African-American culture has a much, much bigger problem with guns than white America. Hopefully that will change.

When white Americans stop slacking off and kill some more people?

N.B. poor people commit the most crimes. It's just that's frequently blacks and other minorities. Predominantly white cities don't miraculously have no crime.

Not to mention any black will do arrests. Especially good if you have a death sentence.

Quote: sootyj @ December 28 2009, 10:36 PM GMT

We do have some big issues. Number one being burglary is a workable career because the chance of prosecution is so low.

Burglars wind up serving lengthy prison sentences here. If you break into an occupied dwelling you are *guaranteed* to go to prison. Our laws have special provisions pertaining to burglary of an occupied dwelling and the punishments keep getting more severe.

There's 3 problems there.

1 It costs a fortune to lock people up.
2 Severe sentences make burglars more likely to be desperate and vicious to avoid them.
3 You have to release them some time and they come out of prison ever more dangerous and desperate.

A custodial sentence for any violent crime against person or property is a must. But you'd do better to have short rehabilative sentences including treating the drug addiction and illiteracy that is so much a route course.

Quote: sootyj @ December 28 2009, 10:41 PM GMT

N.B. poor people commit the most crimes. It's just that's frequently blacks and other minorities. Predominantly white cities don't miraculously have no crime.

There is a definite racial/cultural difference. The stigma of imprisonment is much weaker and the "I'm a hustler and I'll shoot you if you piss me off" mentality is much stronger in the African-American community and, to a lesser extent, the Hispanic community. I wish it weren't so, but that's just the way it is.

Quote: DaButt @ December 28 2009, 10:38 PM GMT

San Francisco's murder rate is almost 20% higher than the national average. And what was the racial makeup of Oakland, by the way? It may not be politically correct to say it, but African-American culture has a much, much bigger problem with guns than white America. Hopefully that will change.

My point was that they're still Americans.

The UK has a 0% crime rate if you discount all the criminals.

The average person doesn't go to prison for 30 years for his first, minor offence. He usually has a lengthy record of arrests, probation and short sentences before the judge decides to put him away for a decade or two. Some people can't be rehabilitated and society is better off if they are locked away.

The man who was beaten in the UK case had 50 convictions on his record. Neither he nor the victim ... I mean "assailant" would be where they are today if justice had been served and he'd been locked away as a habitual offender.

On that I do agree especially with crimes of violence. The number of murderers in their teens with a half dozen cautions for possession of a weapon or assault before the 20-30 year sentence is soul destroying.

Prison should be a ready solution and a way of curing none functional citizens. As swiftly, humanely and effectively as possible.

The UK penal system is frankly constipated with none violent none flight risk fraudsters, tax dodgers and for f**ks sake TV license evaders.

We should be putting these people into longterm community payback schemes.

Quote: Tim Walker @ December 6 2009, 11:59 PM GMT

Yep, read this earlier. Fair play to them, I say. Though I think Tony Blair should also be getting a lot more of the cold shoulder treatment as well. Blair was visibly shaken when he attended the recent war memorial service at Westminster Abbey and the father of a dead soldier refused to shake his hand.

Just shows how detached from reality the both of them are, doesn't it? How he had the nerve to even attempt to shake the man's hand is breathtaking.

Quote: Moonstone @ December 7 2009, 1:53 PM GMT

They should check out Robin Cook while they're at it.

Laughing out loud Exactly what I thought.

Quote: Tim Walker @ December 23 2009, 5:43 PM GMT

Looking to gain experience in media studies and IT? Get yourself to prison...

http://www.broadcastnow.co.uk/technology/ascent-media-service-to-employ-inmates-for-metadata-tagging/5008986.article

So if you want to see into the comedy archives, get a drug dealing conviction! Nice.

Quote: Tim Walker @ December 24 2009, 6:33 PM GMT

This country really is f**ked up. Well at least our "human rights" legislation is. :(

And that's why I should be Prime Minister.

Quote: DaButt @ December 26 2009, 3:04 AM GMT

It's one of the most quotable movies of all time. I don't think there are many people who haven't tried their hand at imitating Billy Bob's character.

Wave

(Unsurprisingly.)

Quote: DaButt @ December 28 2009, 5:53 PM GMT

I can't believe the voters in the UK have let their "justice" system get to such a sad state.

Nothing we can do about it. We don't employ a Swiss-style system where every tiny decision needs a referendum.

Quote: DaButt @ December 28 2009, 5:53 PM GMT

Someone shoots an intruder every couple of weeks in my city and they are applauded by their fellow citizens and the police and never come close to seeing the inside of a jail cell.

With respect to the recent case, there's a big difference between defending yourself in your own home and chasing someone up the length of the street before almost beating them to death with a cricket bat.

Tony Martin. There's a man who should have been applauded.

Quote: sootyj @ December 28 2009, 6:30 PM GMT

Tazers maybe?

Equip police with tasers, but those who carry them should be shot with one themselves, once every 3 or 4 months, to remind them that it's not just a simple disarming tool.

Quote: DaButt @ December 28 2009, 7:50 PM GMT

If you want to have your eyes opened, check out the U.S. murder statistics by race. The murder rate for white Americans isn't much higher than yours. Remove the people involved with gang activity and drugs and it's very low indeed.

The last I heard, murder was the #1 cause of death for young African-American males in a certain age bracket. There is definitely a racial element to this country's dun crime problem, but the good news is that murder rates have been falling steadily for quite some time.

Very similar situation here. 9 times out of 10, the victim of a murder around London is black, and again 9 times of those will have the victim and/or perpetrators involved in gangs in some way. It's a whole section of culture and society that should be eradicated.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ December 28 2009, 7:58 PM GMT

Anyway, your argument is flawed by the fact that Americans are Americans are Americans, regardless of skin colour.

Apart from the ones that claim to be 'African' Americans. No. You're either American or you're not.

But that doesn't change the facts.

Quote: sootyj @ December 28 2009, 10:48 PM GMT

1 It costs a fortune to lock people up.

Not if you scrap our f**ked up 'human rights' legislation.

Quote: sootyj @ December 28 2009, 10:48 PM GMT

3 You have to release them some time and they come out of prison ever more dangerous and desperate.

But they think twice before acting again, if the sentences and punishments are there.

Quote: sootyj @ December 28 2009, 10:58 PM GMT

The UK penal system is frankly constipated with none violent none flight risk fraudsters, tax dodgers and for f**ks sake TV license evaders.

We should be putting these people into longterm community payback schemes.

I do agree. But what if there's a storm and they all develop strange supernatural abilities?

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ December 28 2009, 10:53 PM GMT

The UK has a 0% crime rate if you discount all the criminals.

And it'd have a significantly lower murder rate if you discount all the blacks.

Quote: bigfella @ December 28 2009, 7:25 PM GMT

I hope China see sense in a few hours. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8432948.stm

Well, as I'm sure we all know by now, they didn't. But hey, that's communist justice for you.

How any country is still carrying out state-sponsored murder in the 21st Century is baffling. Are we not beyond such a backward, abhorrent practice by now? I wonder why anyone has the slightest faith in mankind sometimes.

Quote: Aaron @ December 29 2009, 4:34 PM GMT

Very similar situation here. 9 times out of 10, the victim of a murder around London is black, and again 9 times of those will have the victim and/or perpetrators involved in gangs in some way. It's a whole section of culture and society that should be eradicated.

Ha, yes well step outside of London and all the murders are committed by whites.
So, erm, it's all pretty meaningless really.

I say bring back the whole sending criminals to Australia thing, gangs or otherwise. Only replace Australia with Mars.

Quote: Aaron @ December 29 2009, 4:34 PM GMT

Apart from the ones that claim to be 'African' Americans. No. You're either American or you're not.

Pretty much everybody in America claims some kind of heritage. "Oh, I'm Italian", "Oh, I'm Scottish", etc, when they're clearly not.

Except the English-Americans. Never heard anyone claim that. Ever.

You only hear "African American" more often because it's a bollocks PC term to avoid using "black".

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ December 29 2009, 5:03 PM GMT

Pretty much everybody in America claims some kind of heritage. "Oh, I'm Italian", "Oh, I'm Scottish", etc, when they're clearly not.

Except the English-Americans. Never heard anyone claim that. Ever.

Ditto! That's something I find really bizarre and annoying.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ December 29 2009, 5:03 PM GMT

You only hear "African American" more often because it's a bollocks PC term to avoid using "black".

Indeed - and ridiculous. We all know that they mean exactly the same thing.

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