I read the news today oh boy! Page 58

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 21 2009, 1:53 PM GMT

I remember when we did that experiment in Biology with the cigarette and the cotton wool and all the smug swotty girls kept turning round to look at me as if to say "see?". I pointed out to the teacher that the experiment was invalid because she used a Woodbine and most people smoked filter tips.

Most of the smug swotty girls ended up smoking and probably still do.

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Every day I read of yet more resentment in your past. Let it go, Dolly. For the love of god, let it go!

Quote: chipolata @ December 21 2009, 1:57 PM GMT

Every day I read of yet more resentment in your past.

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You've been reading my diary?

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 21 2009, 1:59 PM GMT

You've been reading my diary?

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No fear, I couldn't take the bile and vitriol and that one sentence repeated again and again: "They'll all pay for what they did to me!"

Quote: chipolata @ December 21 2009, 2:01 PM GMT

"They'll all pay for what they did to me!"

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They already have.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 21 2009, 2:01 PM GMT

They already have.

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Marriage is the best revenge, eh? Poor Mr Dagger.

Quote: chipolata @ December 21 2009, 2:04 PM GMT

Marriage is the best revenge, eh? Poor Mr Dagger.

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Hey, Hal Cruttenden said he thought we were a lovely couple the other night.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1237519/Chef-stabbed-death-teaching-assistant-bad-mood.html

If only he'd have used a more expensive knife, her death wouldn't have been quite as sensesless.

God Bless America! (BBC News - Contains Video)

US Officer "draws gun" on snowball fight crowd

Quote: Tim Walker @ December 21 2009, 5:03 PM GMT

God Bless America! (BBC News - Contains Video)

US Officer "draws gun" on snowball fight crowd

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When Americans say "Only in America", they usually say it with pride, having seen a local boy done good or somesuch.

Everyone else in the world uses the phrase only when they see yanks acting like absolute f**king cretins.

Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.rte.ie/news/2009/1221/guinness.html

Eww.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/picturesoftheday/6857308/Pictures-of-the-day-21-December-2009.html

Quote: Leevil @ December 11 2009, 6:48 PM GMT

Ok, ok.

"I heard the news today, oh boy" - One word different. Give me Bowie any day though

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Bowie's is a deliberate echo of A Day in the Life (probably because he was hanging out with Lennon at the time - see Across the Universe and Fame from the same album).

http://www.asylum.co.uk/2009/12/22/hunt-is-on-for-bum-sniffing-oddball/

Quote: Tim Walker @ December 22 2009, 8:57 PM GMT

http://www.asylum.co.uk/2009/12/22/hunt-is-on-for-avatar-sniffing-oddball

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Solved.