Quote: Timbo @ December 21 2009, 1:43 PM GMTNice production, but as a dramatic monologue it does not really seem to have any story to tell. The performance captured the character but perhaps at the expense of comic timing, not that there was much humour in the script to work with.
Glad you liked the production. The monologue side was to show you who he was it wasn't meant to be hilariously funny. See the episode as a character's back-story on film not a episode of a established comedy that this week isn't that funny.
Quote: sootyj @ December 21 2009, 1:44 PM GMTFor example in the first 3 minutes you seem to tell us 3 times he's an unhappy radio DJ. We should be guessing that from the performance, clues etc.
That is very true and in a real straight monologue I would do that but this isn't really a monologue nor is it a straight comedy that is perhaps were it falls down.
Quote: Marc P @ December 21 2009, 1:44 PM GMTYeah for this sort of thing I would stick with pure monologue. You break the conceit by having phone calls etc and people wonder who the hell is he talking to?
I was going to paste a link to a monoluge I put up somewhere on an american site by Will Ferrer I think but I have forgotten where it is and don't have the file handy to upload to you tube. It's not great but it illustrates what I mean about characters not being self aware and using reveals to shape your narrative.
I agree about sticking to pure monologue and that is what I am doing with my next project A Matter of Principle. I might post the script on here in a few weeks when it is done because I do know how to write a pure monologue.
Quote: sootyj @ December 21 2009, 1:45 PM GMTOh and James we generally ignore the truly awful, so the interest means we see potential.
Thanks for saying that. But what should I do next?
