A Dilemma

INT: TWO MEN IN AN OFFICE

JOHN:
I told him a few home truths, and bought him to his knees

COLIN:
You mean you brought him to his knees.

JOHN:
Colin! I've sat opposite you for a year now & all you ever do is correct me, I've literally had it up to here.

COLIN:
Well, not literally.

JOHN:
Shut up Colin! I've thought long & hard about this & decided that I can do one of three things.
I can contnue to sit opposite your smug face and hate my very existence, I could ask to be moved to another desk, or alternatively I could just punch you in the face.
Now you can see my dilemma, what do you think I should do?

COLIN:
Well John Technically, what you have there is a Trilemma

*SMACK

JOHN:
Thanks for your help.

Nice and to the punch.

Smart and quick. Thumbs up.

Quote: Griff @ December 17 2009, 9:23 PM GMT

One minor tweak I would suggest - I don't think "bought him to his knees" is a reasonable malapropism that someone would say. (Unless you know people who say this, Steve?)

If you can find a more convincing mistake and subsequent correction for the opening two lines, I'd say you've got another winner here for the portfolio.

View original

Cheers Griff.
To be honest I only really had the Punchline so the dialogue leading up could be better, I need to think of a different correction at the beginning.
(Suggestions welcome)

How about damp squib/damp squid?

Don't know what sentence you'd put it in though.

What about "literally?"" lots of people use it when they mean the opposite.

Very nice punch, perhaps not quite there yet with the build up.

I love it as it is.

Steve Sunshine - what an appropriate name as his sketches always bring a little sunshine to this part of Wales... literally.

Top sketch.

Agree about the build up but even so, very nice.

Quote: Griff @ December 17 2009, 9:23 PM GMT

One minor tweak if I might suggest it - I don't think "bought him to his knees" is a reasonable malapropism that someone would say, in the same way that we hear people say "pacific" for "specific" etc all the time.

View original

Or "I could care less".

I think I wanted something that anyone would say but to a pedant it would be grammatically incorrect.
Like inferred/implied but not as obvious.
(Brought/bought isn't great.)

Thanks for the feedback everyone, I'll definitely give it some thought.

Liked this, Steve. Bought/Brought is frequently misused in Norfolk, but then so are siblings.

Bought/brought is very common in my experience, though usually the other way around - i.e. people talk about having brought something from the shops.

It always irks me.