I am is the shortest sentence in the english language...I am going down for forty years for a serial killing spree is one of the longest.
Give it a Punchline. Page 4
Perfick!
Quote: Badge @ November 19 2009, 2:21 AM GMTI am is the shortest sentence in the english language...I am going down for forty years for a serial killing spree is one of the longest.
, Badge!
There are three golden rules for a happy marriage..
Marry a deaf and dumb nymphomaniac with an off-licence.
Forget Glastonbury, the best festival I ever went to was...
...the greater Fargo area moonshine, cheese and corn festival featuring the zany antics of Dr. No Thumbs and starring in the first show of their reunion tour....The Starland Vocal Band.
Quote: jmorton @ November 19 2009, 10:08 AM GMT.The Starland Vocal Band.
. . . and a delightful afternoon was had by all. 
Quote: Roodeye @ November 19 2009, 8:54 AM GMTThere are three golden rules for a happy marriage..
Marry a deaf and dumb nymphomaniac with an off-licence.
Why did nobody tell me?
I never realised that I was priveleged until.. I had a weasel chomping at my bits.
So I picked my numbers, filled in my ticket and...I had a weasel chomping at my bits.
I'd never seen anyone quite that good looking..until I had a weasel chomping at my bits.
Next weeks episode Doctor Who and the.. weasel chomping at my bits.
Of course I like the Soaps...as much as I like a weasel chomping at my bits.
There are two types of Men..the type that have normal genitalia and the type that have a weasel chomping at my bits.
My favourite game when I was growing up was..having a weasel chomping at my bits.
It's called my Family nowadays, but it's working title was... I had a weasel chomping at my bits.
This thread won't work because..I have a weasel chomping at my bits.
Scientific studies have revealed that bees can remember human faces for up to two days, slightly longer than witnesses to gang shootings.
The X Factor used to be good when losing contestants were whipped through the streets
If you really want to be the best pick a naff sport that only millionaires can afford to compete in. Polo maybe.
And through it all, she offers me OWO, but CIM is extra.
I knew it was Christmas, but how was I to know that when she said her turkey needed stuffing it wasn't a euphemism?
The average human will expel 14,728 litres of gas in a lifetime. John Prescott on the other hand has his own chapter in the Kyoto agreement.
I am is the shortest sentence in the english language. Oh?
The collective term for a group of unsaleable sketches is a Critique.
If you ever write your own vows do not include...
All I wanted for Christmas was a .... and I ended up with a...
He/She was my best friend until....
The most interesting thing about Tigers is..
The Magic word Abracadabra was originally invented to cure Hayfever
As the old song says....
Straight away, I knew he/she was the one because..
Tommorow night, Nine O'clock Channel 5...
They loved my script, but unfortunately...
If you ever write your own vows do not include the words 'and if you leave me, I'll kill the kids'
All I wanted for Christmas was a non-shit Doctor Who special and I ended up with a typical RTD gay ass suck-a-thon.
He/She was my best friend until I found out she was a He/She and pissed standing up.
The most interesting thing about Tigers is the way they can play golf, crash cars and shag porn stars.
The Magic word Abracadabra was originally invented to cure Hayfever and yet it's still too expensive for the NHS to prescribe to patients. I blame the foreingers.
As the old song says 99 Problems and the Bitch Ain't One.
Straight away, I knew he/she was the one by examining the DNA evidence at the crime scene.
Tommorow night, Nine O'clock Channel 5 Hard Evidence: The Movie with Duncan Norvelle as Jack Delaney and Amanda Holden as a dead hooker. OR - The Tommorrow People about a group of kids who teach a man how to spell tomorrow correctly. OR - It's Tom Morrow night featuring the inimitable actor and spelling mistake.
They loved my script, but unfortunately I didn't suck cock, have rich parents or a relative at the BBC and they told me to f**k off.
There are two types of men. - Those who watch porn and me.
Of course I like the soaps. - But would it kill you to serve food once a while?
It's called My Family now, but the working title was. - Crack Ho's From Hell.
Next weeks episode Doctor Who and the. - Mildly unpleseant cold.
Quote: Henrik Bengtsson @ December 11 2009, 2:56 PM GMTNext weeks episode Doctor Who and the. - Mildly unpleseant cold.
DW: Doctor I have a cold.
D: Well you're The Doctor.
DW: I know but you're my doctor!
D. Well go back to a time you din;t have a cold then.
Did you see what I did there? 
I'm glad they're having the next World Cup in South Africa...
Of all the Commandments my favourite one is..
They don't know they're born these days, when I was young..
The perfect Husband needs to have three things...
I knew I'd put on weight when...
The London Olympics is going to be the first Olympics...
People always seem to forget the true meaning of Easter..
Monday to Friday I go down the Gym, but at the weekends...
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ March 4 2010, 9:36 PM GMTOf all the Commandments my favourite one is..
Though shalt not bump up pointless threads.