My first concert

I've been playing the keyboard now for three years. The woman who teaches it me is about 65 and she also plays the guitar and goes out gigging. She got a booking for a group of pensioners which was today, venue being a Masonic Hall in Manchester. She asked me would I bring my keyboard along and play some Christmas music. I jumped at the chance. So I arrived today. I played and the pensioners liked it and I was very happy. Then on came the main act with her guitar. It was good and the pensioners were singing along and the dancing had just begun. The manageress of the building then came in the room (a middle aged woman with a gestapo like manner and a permanent miserable look on her face). She asked her to turn her amp down. My teacher informed her that it doesn't go down any lower than it does without it being basically unhearable. So she carried on playing when the manageress left the room. Two minutes later she came in again to complain about the noise. They had the same argument again. Then my piano teacher shouted out on her microphone 'Will somebody tell this woman to go away please' Then the two got in a row. So this petty bastard of a manageress turned off the electricity and that was it. The pensioners there were furious. The music wasn't even that loud. I think it was a downright disgrace.

I agree with you. Find out where the bitch lives then organise a round the clock carol singing relay outside her front door and get them to sing through loudhailers as well.

I read this as "My first contact." I thought it was going to be a story about aliens.

Well there's a comedy scene all written for you Jack.

One New Years Eve we were having a family sing-song type party (lots of Chas 'n' Dave) and this old guy, who was blind, took over the electric ol' joanna for a while. But it went on slightly too long, so my brother pulled the plug and told the old man the electric had gone off. I think he might have figured the truth when the CD player kicked into an hour of The Jam.

Kill her. Kill her dead.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 9 2009, 9:23 PM GMT

Well there's a comedy scene all written for you Jack.

One New Years Eve we were having a family sing-song type party (lots of Chas 'n' Dave) and this old guy, who was blind, took over the electric ol' joanna for a while. But it went on slightly too long, so my brother pulled the plug and told the old man the electric had gone off. I think he might have figured the truth when the CD player kicked into an hour of The Jam.

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You should have put an actual CD of Chas 'n' Dave on, then all pissed off down the pub !! He'd have still been playing when you got back.

Quote: Blobster @ December 10 2009, 1:09 AM GMT

You should have put an actual CD of Chas 'n' Dave on

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Or to add insult to injury, put on a CD of some bloke playing electric piano.

He was very good by the way (in an Uncle Albert type of way) - it just went on a bit too long and he was taking hints. Ah, I miss our old family Chas'n'Dave knees ups.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 10 2009, 12:12 PM GMT

He was very good by the way (in an Uncle Albert type of way) - it just went on a bit too long and he was taking hints. Ah, I miss our old family Chas'n'Dave knees ups.

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I bet a 'knees up' in a kilt is a sight to see.

Quote: Moonstone @ December 10 2009, 12:55 PM GMT

I bet a 'knees up' in a kilt is a sight to see.

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That's my cockney family that have the knees-ups. The Scottish half just get wasted and fight.

Mockney knees-ups...The shame.

When I was a teen I used to go along and play the piano at an old people's home of a Sunday. They were loving it. Great memories of helping the "groupies" to the toilet after the show.

Quote: SlagA @ December 10 2009, 11:08 AM GMT

Or to add insult to injury, put on a CD of some bloke playing electric piano.

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Quote: Jack Massey @ December 9 2009, 8:21 PM GMT

I've been playing the keyboard now for three years. The woman who teaches it me is about 65 and she also plays the guitar and goes out gigging. She got a booking for a group of pensioners which was today, venue being a Masonic Hall in Manchester. She asked me would I bring my keyboard along and play some Christmas music. I jumped at the chance. So I arrived today. I played and the pensioners liked it and I was very happy. Then on came the main act with her guitar. It was good and the pensioners were singing along and the dancing had just begun. The manageress of the building then came in the room (a middle aged woman with a gestapo like manner and a permanent miserable look on her face). She asked her to turn her amp down. My teacher informed her that it doesn't go down any lower than it does without it being basically unhearable. So she carried on playing when the manageress left the room. Two minutes later she came in again to complain about the noise. They had the same argument again. Then my piano teacher shouted out on her microphone 'Will somebody tell this woman to go away please' Then the two got in a row. So this petty bastard of a manageress turned off the electricity and that was it. The pensioners there were furious. The music wasn't even that loud. I think it was a downright disgrace.

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Now I just want to play devil's advocate here, please don't take this personally I have nothing against old people (some of my best friends are old).

1.What's "not loud" to a room of pensions may be bursting ear drums and cause bleeding from the eyes for others and I say this 'cause when I go visit my nan I can hear the final dum dum dum of EastEnders while I'm still on the 209 bus!
2.Maybe the slightly stressed manager had complaints from non Christmas celebrating religions and was worried about appearing on the front pages of every paper (but mostly the Mail as they love that shit)and the 10 o clock news for being a racist?
3. Tiger Woods wouldn't touch it.

Just an idea

Quote: Daddy Maz @ December 10 2009, 3:49 PM GMT

when I go visit my nan I can hear the final dum dum dum of EastEnders while I'm still on the 209 bus!

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Are we related??