Quote: Marooned @ October 28 2009, 12:30 PM BSTI would have researched it more but unfortunately when I wrote it I had about a 2 hour window from the time I remembered when the deadline was and the deadline itself!
Hey...did you work on the report Bush & Blair read prior to invading Iraq? 
Quote: Writer2K @ October 28 2009, 6:40 PM BSTHey...did you work on the report Bush & Blair read prior to invading Iraq?
I wish, what a great thing that would be to add to your CV!
It's the early bird that gets the worm...
And the late one that probably had the Tequila.
Quote: Griff @ November 16 2009, 11:59 PM GMTThat "early bird catches the worm" proverb doesn't really work out so well for the "early worm" does it.
Indeed it does not.
Quote: Griff @ November 16 2009, 11:59 PM GMTThat "early bird catches the worm" proverb doesn't really work out so well for the "early worm" does it. He's f**ked. As a promotion of earliness, it hasn't been thought through.
I am so sorry, it wasn't my intention to promote earliness in any shape or form.
Quote: Griff @ November 16 2009, 11:59 PM GMTThat "early bird catches the worm" proverb doesn't really work out so well for the "early worm" does it. He's f**ked. As a promotion of earliness, it hasn't been thought through.
Marooned - Griff isn't critising your joke, he's making a funny of his own. Turning the proverb on its head etc...
Quote: Stan Doubt @ November 17 2009, 9:53 AM GMTMarooned - Griff isn't critising your joke, he's making a funny of his own. Turning the proverb on its head etc...
I'm aware of that, but thanks anyway.
Ah, I thought you were offended...
Quote: Stan Doubt @ November 17 2009, 3:44 PM GMTAh, I thought you were offended...
Nah, there's too much of that around as it is.
Man 1: My dog had no nose when I found him.
Man 2: How did he smell?
Man 1: Terrible, a Fox had savaged him and he'd shat everywhere.
Man 1: My Dog had no nose.
Man 2: How did he smell?
Man 1: I...can't remember.
Have the 118 jokes started again?I don't post much cause I have to trawl through months of stuff I've missed out on.
Quote: Marooned @ November 25 2009, 2:36 PM GMTMan 1: My Dog had no nose.
Man 2: How did he smell?
Man 1: Terrible, a Fox had savaged him and he'd shat everywhere.Man 1: My Dog had no nose.
Man 2: How did he smell?
Man 1: I...can't remember.
Why are Dog and Fox capitalised - are they names of people?
For the first one, he had a nose originally - so the man would have to say 'My dog had no nose when he died'. Which doesn't work as well.
Try them out in front of an audience though, I may be wrong!
Black Beauty isn't a dark horse, she's a mare-nority.
Best line from 'Alien' panto:
"It's inside yoooooou!"
Quote: Marooned @ December 24 2009, 7:02 PM GMTBest line from 'Alien' panto:
"It's inside yoooooou!"
Ooh, very good.
Quote: SlagA @ December 25 2009, 9:38 PM GMTOoh, very good.
Thank you! I happened to think of it when I was bored with watching the ITV2 panto and started replacing the characters with ones from 'Alien'!
Happy Chrimbo btw.