Hello.
Here is the opening from my mocumentary style series. I am only putting the first part on, but will add more if people want/like it. This is a mocumentary series following various subjects that aim to have an underlying moral along with the humour. Not overly preachy though.
SCENE OPENS OUTSIDE A SEMI-DETATCHED HOUSE IN SUBURBAN YORKSHIRE. STOOD ON THE EDGE OF THE DRIVEWAY WITH A MICROPHONE IN HAND AND A SMALL TV CREW IS JEFF BANDAGE, 27, A TALL, SLENDER TV PRESENTER SMARTLY DRESSED BUT WITH OUT OF BED LOOK HAIR. HE LOOKS AT THE CAMERA AND BEGINS TO SPEAK.
Jeff: The latest survey by the health organisation shows that 1 in 4 UK adults 'suffer' from obesity. A shocking statistic. Not only do they look disgusting, they are running the risk of serious health problems such as type 2 diabetes and excess sweat. Sick.
JEFF SHAKES HIS HEAD IN DISGUST
Jeff: Alarmingly it is forecast that by 2025 90% of British children will be paunchy and pot bellied.
A SHORT MONTAGE OF OBESE CHILDREN IS SHOWN AS JEFF SPEAKS.
Jeff(cont): Revolting. So who is to blame? (Slight Pause). Well it's the parents as they control what is shovelled into their traps. But, for arguments sake let's give them the benefit of the doubt. Who is really to blame? The evil fast food chains? The schools and their drug like Turkey Twizzlers? Or is this another case to land at the door of Gangster Rap?
JEFF ENTERS THE DRIVEWAY AND APPROACHES THE HOUSE.
Jeff: I'm at the home of the Gorden family to see first hand just how the morbidally obese cope with day to day life
KNOCKS ON DOOR. JEFF TURNS TO CREW MEMBER HOLDING THE BOOM MIC.
Jeff: Probably starts with getting their pants over their crack in a morning ey, ey
Cameraman: Jeff we're keeping rolling.
Jeff(shocked): Oh. Well keep that in it was a good one. Can't let a cracker go to waste. (nudges crew member)Betthat's what they said. Speaking of waists what they doing in-
JEFF IS CUTT OFF AS THE DOOR FINALLY OPENS. AN EXTREMELY OBESE MAN, CLIVE, 45, IS AT THE DOOR. CLIVE FILLS THE MAJORITY OF THE DOOR FRAME. JUST OVER HIS SHOULDER HIS EQUALLY OBESE WIFE LINDA CAN BE SEEN. ONLY HER HEAD IS VISIBLE. CLIVE IS WEARING SWEATPANTS AND A BAGGY T-SHIRT. THERE IS A GRAVY STAIN ON THE FRONT.
Clive(shouting into house with broad yorkshire accent): Kids (slight pause before raising voice again) KIDS
JEFF IS STARTLED BY THE SHOUTING.
Jeff: Hi I'm
Clive (cutting Jeff off): Now then young man. didn't think you wa' comin' ya said bloody 'alf past on't phone. Not to worry. I'm Clive Gorden 'od d'ya do?
JEFF AND CLIVE SHAKE HANDS
clive: This is me gorgeous wife Linda
CLIVE MOVES SLIGHTLY TO REVEAL LINDA.
Linda(dropping head into her shoulders): Helloooo
Jeff: Hi (under breath) gorgeous Linda
Clive(to Linda): Come on love out o' road let these lot in bet they're bloody parched
TURNS BACK TO JEFF
Clive: In ya come mi laddo we don't bite. Linda make 'im a sarnie he need some meat on his bones does t'lad. (Slight pause before shouting) Kids get down here or yer for it
JEFF SHEEPISHLY BEGINS TO WALK IN THE HOUSE BEFORE BRIEFLY TURNING TO THE CAMERA AND BLOATING IS CHEEKS AND PUTTING HIS ARMS OUT TO DO A FAT GESTURE. HE THEN SHAKES HIS HEAD AND ENTERS THE HOUSE.
Cut to: Living Room