Gregor - fave was the Brown Bear gag.
This week's shenanigans:
Scientists have announced a breakthrough in the swine flu pandemic after a leg of bacon was cured.
A Paisley woman who tried to commit suicide by swallowing 200 cough sweets is recovering in a local menthol hospital.
Lloyds Bank say they will save millions in administration costs by setting up a direct debit between Rangers and UEFA.
Following the success of Of-Com, Of-Wat and Of-Post the Government is to set up a new regulatory body for the meat industry called Of-Fal.
A Shetland project which aims to put writing in public conveniences has attracted poets from all over the world. The winning entry read, 'TS Eliot is an anagram of toilets'.
The Music and Games Industries are to come together for a new West End production called Thoroughly Modern Warfare.
The man who invaded the stage during the X-factor wearing a pineapple on his head has been formally charged with breach of the peach.
The man who invaded the stage during the X-factor wearing a pineapple on his head has been saved from elimination after the four judges voted no, but the man from Del Monte said yes.
The man who invaded the stage during the X-factor wearing fruit on his head was spotted in Birmingham city centre singing with an act called pineapple crush.
Chemicals in plastics can alter the brains of baby boys making them "more feminine" according to a scientific research team led by Mr. Polly Esther.
A rare species of fly previously only found south of border has been reported for first time in Scotland. Scientists say the fly may have been attracted North by the large quantities of bullshit that appeared recently during the Springburn by-election.
Two crates of Scotch whisky which belonged to the polar explorer Ernest Shackleton are to be recovered after a century buried in the Antarctic ice, using a screwdriver, a rusty nail and a Singapore sling.
Galloway Forest Park has been unveiled as the newest Dark Sky Park in the UK following the example of the dark skies over Ibrox Park.
Police have launched an investigation after three horses had their tails cut off in rural Stirling. A spokesman said they were looking to interview a local man named Jocky Bauld.
A drug which failed the test as an antidepressant could find a new use as the female "Viagra", scientists have said. The drug was found to be particularly effective on headaches.
Police say the woman who drove 16 miles on a motorway in the wrong direction was extremely lucky that the car she was driving was a Dodge.
Following the news that Hampden is to be raised by 1 metre the SFA say players will not be selected if they continue to show a bad altitude.
Scotland have shot up in the FIFA rankings following the announcement that Hampden is to be raised by 1m.
Mo Johnston says the new Scotland manager should be a man with the qualities of Billy McNeill and Graham Souness and - someone like Billy Graham.
The SFA are on the hunt for a manager with a blend of Martin O'Neil and Fabio Capello and have asked for permission to speak to Marty Pellow.
The SFA criteria for their new manager includes having a thick skin and a glowing reputation. Bookies have installed Jimmy Calderwood as favourite.
