British Comedy Guide

Worst idea for a computer game.

A new Foster's home for lame over extended puns.

1 Race Invaders.

You play Nick Griffin and must shoot down (or offer voluntary repatriation) to rows and rows of economic migrants. Bonus points for shooting Bonnie Greer as she flys across the top row shouting "2 2 fascist"

2 Call of Booty.

Like Call of Duty but set in that part of town where sweaty men keep stopping to ask grannies in miniskirts for directions (who then get in their car and suck their cocks).

3 Jonathon Kingdom Hearts.

Who will help save the magical kingdom with Mickey? Jonathon King will if he'll only stop offering to make Pinochio's nose grow.

4 Slack Man

Eat dots? Sorry man I'm on incapacity and I've got a note from my Dr.

Beat that lot you rebels!

Pax-man

You play the presenter of Newsnight and University Challenge as he is chased around TV centre by 4 ghostly Compliance Officers who want to sack him for being rude and upsetting a politician.

Pre-Evolution Soccer
Help your single-celled amoebae hold their own, entirely-configurable, football tournament.

Tekken Sex
Do what you finally wanted to do to that big-boobed one, who bounced around in the previous versions.

Barry O'Kart
Help the Irish plumber beat all the others around the potato harvest!

Dan

Call Of Nature

You play a GI who's just taken part in the D-Day landings at Omaha beach and you're busting for a slash. Guide your well armed marine around the Nazi infested levels as you search for a toilet where you can fulfill your mission and empty your bladder.

The Spice Girls Playstation game

Call of Booty: Sodden Whorehair
Just awful.

Modern Worf Hair

You play a Klingon barber who has to style Federation Officer Lieutenant Commander Worf's hair to his satisfaction whilst repelling Borg attacks and doing some techno bollocks with dilithium crystals and the holodeck.

Quote: Griff @ November 19 2009, 10:53 AM GMT

Grand Theft Skoda

Thrilling adventures broken down on the hard shoulder of the M4.

Alternative title:
Bland Theft Auto

Deriver
You are the 70s getaway mathematician hired to cover high-end accountancy fraud.

Recorder Hero: World Tour
Emulate being in the enigmatic Year 6 at School and play classics like 'Three Blind Mice' and 'London's Burning'! Comes with wireless plastic recorder replica!

Dan

What about a game in which you play the character of a desperate slag who loses her modelling contract so goes into a jungle finds a husband and sells her life to the tabloids for the highest price and has to stay at the top for as long as possible without letting the husband stray or the kids get sick.

If you lose money or the husband you then have to re-enter a jungle and pass more tests.

Sounds very familiar though. I think it may have already been done.

Modern Warfare: Conflict of Jordan?

Catarrh Hero

Make music by coughing and spluttering in time with the prompts on screen.

Quote: Griff @ November 19 2009, 11:02 AM GMT

I think someone's actually done that sketch for RFTP.

Laughing out loud

Loom
Compete with monsters/aliens/goblins as they try to outdo your meagre attempts at wool processing supremacy.

Quote: Griff @ November 19 2009, 10:53 AM GMT

Grand Theft Skoda

Thrilling adventures broken down on the hard shoulder of the M4.

Petty Theft Auto

You drive round Slough looking for a hubcap someone may or may not have stolen off your Nissan Micra

Championship Damager
F**k up the football league pyramid by coming up with ridiculous ideas such as the Phoenix League, an round-the-world 39th game and Rangers and Celtic joining the English league. Meet monthly with other big fat knowledgeless rich fat man and design ever more ludicrous schemes by the bucketload, sucking yet more cash from the common-or-garden football fan's consolidated deal with Ocean Finance.

Elitism
Travel round the galaxy with no rules, teaching alien life-forms the values of inbreeding and conservatism. Encourage them to stop giving the kids free milk, educate them in why the Poll Tax is the best solution and why mining will never catch on.

Dan

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