BOY'S ROOM

BOYS ROOM

Mum walks in Fred’s room to see it in a real mess. Fred is led on his bed.

Mum: Right Fred, it’s time for a tidy up…that room of yours is as dirty as your father!

Jumping up - Fred: No! Mum! NO!

Mum: I’m sorry but it is disgusting. Your Father and I have decided we have to do something about it. I swear I’ve heard things.

Mum begins to look under the bed.

Fred: NO!!!!

Mum looks away from under the bed up at Fred

Mum: What? What is it? What’s under here that you don’t want me to see?

Fred: Nothing! Nothing at all… I just thought I’d seen Dad kissing his receptionist again.

Mum: Don’t be silly dear…anyway (reaching under bed)… I can feel something. It’s quite heavy.

Mum pulls out a box

Fred: Mum…I don’t think you should look in there.

Mum: Oh Fred, don’t worry I’ve seen tonnes of porn…your Father has the full box set of Taiwan Twins get Thai’d up!

Fred: But Mum I really don’t think…

Mum opens up the box to reveal a collection of finger puppets.

Mum: Oh no… Not the puppets again. I thought you were over them.

Mum leaves.

Fred looks back at box.

Fred: ... I love you.

Thanks to Danny and Gavin for their help.

Look what you've all done now!

There's me thinking you might have commented about my sketch!

surreal, and i like surreal.

I would like to critique it properly but i don't really know what i'm talking about so i won't.

I do know you have more talent than me though.....boo.

I liked it was good idea with the Finger Puppets. The Mother/Father thing is quite clever and I didnt get them all on the first read through which is good coz when I looked over again I laughed at a different bit. I dunno about the pacing it seemed a little slow in the middle but then it might just be me overall I liked it very good stuff

I love that last line. Really sealed the deal. Good work.

I'm actually a little sad because of that, which is brilliant.

Yeah I like that, I don't think I'd change anything in there, for me it works!

The only criteria I judge sketched on is - did it make me laugh? I'm afraid this didn't do it for me. I'm not sure where the humour is supposed to come from - that the boy has finger puppets?

Just my opinion, of course.

Bo.

It's just surreal humour..not for everyone of course! Criticism taken and recieved!

Grr, you have great timing again!! You had the suspense and the reveal was worth it and nothing I imagined either. There's great jokes and wording throughout too. For a beginner you really are putting a lot of people to shame.

You make it look too easy!

Quote: Leevil @ October 3, 2007, 10:12 PM

Grr, you have great timing again!! You had the suspense and the reveal was worth it and nothing I imagined either. There's great jokes and wording throughout too. For a beginner you really are putting a lot of people to shame.

You make it look too easy!

View original

Are you trying to get on her good side?

I did like it by the way,

Especially the matter of factness about Dad's porn.

I'm already on her good side David, actually by the feel of them, they are both good sides

You know she likes a bit on the side don't you.

See Comp thread

2.10 - 9.10

Things have grown seedy

Quote: Stuart Laws @ October 4, 2007, 1:56 AM

Things have grown seedy

View original

Sorry about that got carried away

I liked it Ellie. I thought she was going to pull out the box open it and find ***** ****** (The previous two words have been edited for the poster's own safety)