Sacking Sketch

You're Sacked!

A hard-working man was outside loading a lorry for his boss who worked in a store nearby.
Un-expectedly, a young member of the public (known as man)approached the hard-working delivery worker.

Man (jovial) Blimey!.....you're working hard there mate.

Worker:Yeah, Tell me about it. I've been lifting these boxes onto this lorry all bloody day! Got bloody crayons in them

Man:Well, there is no need for you to do that anymore.

Worker:Why's that then?

Man:You're sacked…

Worker:eh, you what?

Man:You heard me….you're sacked!

Worker:yeah alright mate, see ya later

Man:No you have to leave…

Worker slightly confused

Worker:Look mate, I'm a bit busy here, so go and bother some other… person or something

As the worker raised his voice to tell the man to go away, his boss overheard and appeared from around the corner.

Man:Mate, you are sacked…

Boss approaches

Boss:What's going on around here then, you've got to get to Solihull in an hour!!

Worker:Ahh… nothing boss. I'm just being annoyed and disturbed by this drunk prat here, he's saying I'm sacked and that.

PAUSE

Boss:Yeah….you are sacked.

Worker:Yeah alright…

Worker goes to load another box. Boss looks over at man then back to worker

Boss:No go one leave, get out of my yard

Worker:What!? Come on.... you don't even know this bloke do ya? He's only (interrupted by boss)

Boss:No I don't…..but he does have a good point. Now get out.

Boss points for him to leave

Worker:I don't f**king believe this!! 20 years!

Worker walks off

Worker:I raised your f'ing dogs!!

Man nods his head in agreement (over his sacking)

Worker stumbles on a raised paving slab as he walks off

END

I enjoyed this sketch. Having read one of two sketches in critique and written a sketch myself, I really like the detailed scene descriptions and think you should elaborate these even more.

Hope that helps. ID

Paul Barker's sketch may cause a few eyebrows to be raised and/or heads to be scratched but it wouldn't take me long to find a few inferior sketches that have received positive reviews.

The sketch itself is no great shakes, of course, and I'm sure some will think it's absolutely bloody awful.

Be that as it may, however, I have a feeling Paul Barker is a better comedy writer than this script suggests. Indeed, I'm quite confident he's more than a match for (almost) anybody who reads it here.

Quote: Roodeye @ November 16 2009, 2:20 PM GMT

Paul Barker's sketch may cause a few eyebrows to be raised and/or heads to be scratched but it wouldn't take me long to find a few inferior sketches that have received positive reviews.

The sketch itself is no great shakes, of course, and I'm sure some will think it's absolutely bloody awful.

Be that as it may, however, I have a feeling Paul Barker is a better comedy writer than this script suggests. Indeed, I'm quite confident he's more than a match for (almost) anybody who reads it here.

View original

Curiously, the directions are in the past tense.

Personally, I have found that reading a script is almost as difficult as writing them. Some of my favourite comedies probably don't look that good on paper. I've certainly made my share of ill judged comments based on my own lack of vision. I liked the premise of this sketch and a few of the lines made me chuckle, beyond that it's not my place to judge. I'll leave that to the wiser amongst us.

I think you'll find that if one throws an uncoloured hogger at any sketch posted in 'Critique, it can explode; given that the grind reverend powdery discouragement can be entrenched by a monochromatic synthesis that won't act as a cornerstone to a mini-series. At the end of the day, stump will always scour the endoscopes togetherness within the sketch in my opinion.

Morrace, you are indeed the wiser amongst us.

Quote: scratchyr @ November 16 2009, 5:43 PM GMT

Morrace, you are indeed the wiser amongst us.

View original

Oh, I wouldn't say that. I leave it to others.

Got to admit, this one flew over my head. Sadly it seems I'm not as wise as Morrace.

I found the dialogue a bit stilted for my tastes but as Roodeye suggests, there is probably more to the OP than this sketch example.

It is quite funny in a Monty Python way.