British Comedy Guide

Watson's Wind Up - oneliners & short sketches. Page 20

Tony - very much liked the Andy Murray 'semi' gag, the duty free school kids, the Gordon Brown GP gag and the Barclays Receivership one.

Tam - Kudos on the Maclaren gag

Mikey J - Very much liked the 'rising unemployed' gag.

It was very BCG light last week, wasn't it? Shame, as there was some very good stuff on show here.

No luck again this week...

Try. Fail. No matter Try again. Fail again. Fail better. :P

Quote: Tony Cowards @ November 12 2009, 3:09 PM GMT

Miss Scotland, Katherine Brown, has revealed that tennis ace Andy Murray is supporting her bid to become Miss World after the beauty admitted that during Wimbledon she'd helped him to reach a semi.

That's brilliant.

How do you know you've had no luck his week?
This week's show isn't broadcast until 6.10pm.

Commiseration email

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Quote: Gregor Shamsa @ November 13 2009, 5:30 PM GMT

Commiseration email

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I've never received a commiserations mail; I'm now hoping I've got the email address wrong. :)

A friend told me that the best way to get your material on is to plead with the Producer. I beg to differ.

Quote: Mikey Jackson @ November 12 2009, 5:19 PM GMT

I think it might have been better if you'd cut off the "and are going to call themselves Dedward" as Deward dosn't seem to refer to anything.

Dead Wood. Worked for me.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ November 14 2009, 3:46 PM GMT

Dead Wood. Worked for me.

Thanks Kev. I should have spelt 'Deadwood' refering to Jedward but thought they would probably get it. Maybe I should have.

I was living in hope on Friday night as I received an e-mail from the producer that he liked the gag - didn't make it on but at least it gives you encouragement to keep on going...
The gag was:

The Proclaimers have announced they do not want fans waving the Saltire as they find it "embarrassing" and are sick of the sight of it.
As a result, the Tripoli gig has been cancelled.

Back to the drawing board for Friday!!

Honestly, having the positive email that the material is good and then getting nothing on has driven me mental all series.

Still, some still to go!

Quote: Griff @ November 16 2009, 9:43 PM GMT

When does the series finish? December? I think there's a good few weeks yet?

The series runs from Friday 9th October 2009 for 13 weeks. I make that seven more weeks of rejection ahead. :)

Government research claims lesbians make the best parents and children prosper when raised by two women: great news for Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz.

Simon Cowell caught Jedward watching internet porn. Turned it was just the live stream of I'm A Celebrity. Outraged, Cowell has given them a picture of himself to use instead.

I'm A Celebrity viewers were appalled when Colin claimed Justin could tell the flavour of an ice pop just by sitting on it.

Jordan has had three novels published. She's the only bestselling author who has written more books than she's read.

Jordan was a pioneer. Before her, British celebrity sex tape was something John Leslie used to restrain dates.

The SFA deny it was merely putting George Burley out of his (and our) misery, but wish him all the best at Dignitas.

Wales coach John Toshack said his players were hungrier, having heard about Scotland's leeky defence.

The cost of Glasgow's staging of the 2014 Commonwealth Games has risen to £454m as organisers need to build a separate village to house Caster Semenya's penis.

I don't watch Children In Need – if I wanted to laugh at famous faces begging in front of a one-eyed bear, I'd spy on Cabinet meetings.

The Pope and the Queen are to meet when he visits Scotland in September. If it's held at Ibrox, spectators will be provided with binoculars, laxatives and a plastic cup.

Contraceptive experts say raising alcohol price 60p a unit would save 900 lives a year.

Quote: Gregor Shamsa @ November 18 2009, 11:52 PM GMT

Government research claims lesbians make the best parents and children prosper when raised by two women: great news for Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz.

Simon Cowell caught Jedward watching internet porn. Turned it was just the live stream of I'm A Celebrity. Outraged, Cowell has given them a picture of himself to use instead.

I'm A Celebrity viewers were appalled when Colin claimed Justin could tell the flavour of an ice pop just by sitting on it.

Jordan has had three novels published. She's the only bestselling author who has written more books than she's read.

Jordan was a pioneer. Before her, British celebrity sex tape was something John Leslie used to restrain dates.

The SFA deny it was merely putting George Burley out of his (and our) misery, but wish him all the best at Dignitas.

Wales coach John Toshack said his players were hungrier, having heard about Scotland's leeky defence.

The cost of Glasgow's staging of the 2014 Commonwealth Games has risen to £454m as organisers need to build a separate village to house Caster Semenya's penis.

I don't watch Children In Need – if I wanted to laugh at famous faces begging in front of a one-eyed bear, I'd spy on Cabinet meetings.

The Pope and the Queen are to meet when he visits Scotland in September. If it's held at Ibrox, spectators will be provided with binoculars, laxatives and a plastic cup.

Contraceptive experts say raising alcohol price 60p a unit would save 900 lives a year.

Great stuff this week Gregor. I particularly enjoyed the Caster Semenya gag, that's much better than the line I was playing about with.

Cheers. :D

Unfortunately the 'p' word will rule it out. :(

Tried to be a bit tighter with this week's.

Quote: Gregor Shamsa @ November 19 2009, 12:15 AM GMT

Cheers. :D

Unfortunately the 'p' word will rule it out. :(

Tried to be a bit tighter with this week's.

Swap it for 'package' - it's a cracking line.

Quote: Gerry McDonnell @ November 19 2009, 12:20 AM GMT

Swap it for 'package' - it's a cracking line.

I've already sent them.

Yours works better as well... ffs!

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