British Comedy Guide

I need to write

I've just completed first draft of my Red Planet and I'm buzzing.

I need to do something else. Any suggestions?

Try doing what I did recently and write a monologue, it's great discipline and just err fun :P

write a spoof about the red planet offices getting invaded by little green men.

I'll start you off:

1.INT. REDPLANETOFFICE. DAY/1

Two men GARY and STE share a desk in the offices, it is busy with many extras.

GARY: Who decided to run this stupid comp! eight thousand scripts i've got on my desk, tsk, and some of them! it's as if aliens have written them.
STE: Ah, you say that but the chances of anything actually coming from mars are...

types on computer.

STE: 1'420'872:1, they say. So they're probably just from northerners.

Run with it.....

GARY : Northerners - Martians! What's the difference. They've all got strange ways and customs.

STE : I wouldn't quite say that. I mean Martians must have superior intelligence.

GARY: Oh you're funny.

GARY produces two cans of Ben Shaws Shandy. Gives one to STE.

STE: Cheeers

GARY: Cheers. Now, how do you fancy a right good bumming?

try and write the worst sitcom ever. you'll be surprised at how good it will be.
choose the first location that comes into your head....er sewage farm.
choose standard sitcom characters.
1. bloke who has been there forever who dreams of getting out but never will.
2. dopey sidekick who loves working with faeces
3. new boss lady who is obsessed with statistics and demands better poo-related performance
4. er...an old priest who likes drinking whisky.
we'll split it 50/50

Write out a cheque to Loopey for loadsamoney.

Quote: David Chapman @ October 1, 2007, 11:10 PM

I've just completed first draft of my Red Planet and I'm buzzing.

I need to do something else. Any suggestions?

Finish mine?

Quote: johnny roulette @ October 2, 2007, 9:46 AM

try and write the worst sitcom ever. you'll be surprised at how good it will be.
choose the first location that comes into your head....er sewage farm.
choose standard sitcom characters.
1. bloke who has been there forever who dreams of getting out but never will.
2. dopey sidekick who loves working with faeces
3. new boss lady who is obsessed with statistics and demands better poo-related performance
4. er...an old priest who likes drinking whisky.
we'll split it 50/50

Maybe you've just stepped in the secret to success. We spend all this time trying to write good sitcoms that end up being sewage farm inhabitants but has anyone tried writing something shite? Apart from Home Alone. Maybe it will be amazing.

Right, off to write a sitcom about a family that... wait for it... just don't seem to get on!

Quote: David Chapman @ October 1, 2007, 11:10 PM

I've just completed first draft of my Red Planet and I'm buzzing.

I need to do something else. Any suggestions?

Freeze yourself in ice like Harrison Ford at the end of Empire Strikes Back. You may never be this happy again.

At least you won't be at the weekend when you re-read it. ;)

Quote: Godot Taxis @ October 2, 2007, 4:41 PM

Freeze yourself in ice like Harrison Ford at the end of Empire Strikes Back. You may never be this happy again.

At least you won't be at the weekend when you re-read it. ;)

That's probably true. But I fell in love with the lead girl.

Quote: David Chapman @ October 2, 2007, 8:36 AM

GARY : Northerners - Martians! What's the difference. They've all got strange ways and customs.

STE : I wouldn't quite say that. I mean Martians must have superior intelligence.

GARY: true, but they are likely to speak in an unintelligble and incomprehensible manner, with references to life forms that we carbon based organisms just cannot understand....and thats probably true of the aliens as well. Rolling eyes

STE : So really what we could do is take one of these Martian scripts and make them the winner.

GARY : Good idea because what will they be able o do with £5000? We could pocket it.

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