Well, when I first joined I was once told that as a parent I couldn't have a proper opinion on abortion. I was also shooed out of an argument because I had kids and therefor wouldn't have a valid opinion on being single. Just stupid stuff, I know. But I did feel excluded.
I hang around here in hopes that I'll get the occasional avatar sniffing, but nobody seems to like me. New aftershave and deodorant, perhaps?
No, you (like me) just live too damned far away. 
Oh dear, Andie. 
Was it done in just a not-too-brilliant-jokey way, or just dismissively? I can appreciate that threads can occasionally become a bit of a bear-pit. In those cases the gag-sters and the most vociferous posters sometimes seem to prevail. I suspect I may well feel differently about things if I were a woman as well. It may be that what a bloke reads as an innocuous comment, a gal might read as a personal slight?
Yeah, it goes back to the "Boys Rule, Girls Drool" playground mentality.
We don't have that one over here (I think.) "Girls Drool"?
Quote: DaButt @ November 11 2009, 1:50 AM GMTI hang around here in hopes that I'll get the occasional avatar sniffing, but nobody seems to like me. New aftershave and deodorant, perhaps?
*sniffs DaButt's avatar*
*knock on door from Toon child protection team*
WTF? Has Dolly gone?
I showed up late tonight. I'm not sure. Hope not...
Quote: Badge @ November 11 2009, 2:26 AM GMTWTF? Has Dolly gone?
Yep. Look back a couple of pages.
Quote: Tim Walker @ November 11 2009, 2:29 AM GMTYep. Look back a couple of pages.
I did that, but I didn't wade through the history leading up to it. Hope she is back soon. I was looking forward to meeting her at the unofficial BCG December meet-up.
Me too. Some day...
Quote: Badge @ November 11 2009, 2:31 AM GMTI did that, but I didn't wade through the history leading up to it. Hope she is back soon. I was looking forward to meeting her at the unofficial BCG December meet-up.
Well, if she's not enjoying being around here at the moment then perhaps it's best to take a break? Hopefully she might want to come back. She'll be missed.
Quote: Tim Walker @ November 11 2009, 1:11 AM GMTI may be wrong, but I personally don't see much evidence of cliques or an "in-crowd" on this forum. Pretty much all of us were newcomers once, after all. Any suspicion of bullying is usually dealt with efficiently and fairly by the moderators. People will always have contradictory opinions and will treat debates about "serious" issues in various ways. Some will be very strong and defiant in their comments, whilst others will prefer to be tongue-in-cheek, flippant, sarcastic, knowingly obtuse or just try to lighten the mood through gentle humour. And these are all valid ways of expressing an opinion in such an arena. And, when all's said and done, this is a comedy site, after all.
People's opinions should generally be respected, unless they are so far outside the normal boundaries of reasonable debate that they require challenging from either other members, or the moderators. That said, surely everyone's views are open to challenge? No-one can expect to adopt a superior position and expect everyone to fall into line. The general tone created by the majority/consensus view will be heard loudest and, though it doesn't mean that anyone who disagrees with that consensus is wrong, it is unfair to view it as being a conspiracy against them personally.
When members do (either intentionally or unintentionally) have their feelings hurt through these discussions, the evidence seems to be that either apologies are swiftly made, or that appropriate sanctions are imposed on the offender. My tip if one does feel hurt, offended or victimised, is to check first if there might be something that's causing me to over-react. If, objectively, I still feel that someone or a group of people might have a problem with me personally, then I think it would probably be best to raise these concerns via PM with the moderators, or with the members themselves.
People have dropped in and out of this forum in the past and (usually) it's sad to see them leave, as in the case of Dolly. However, in my case for example, I recognise that it was my own problems that ultimately led me to leave, not those of any particular member or group of members on the BCG. The way I see it, the generally "happy" people tend to stay (unless their happiness leads them away for other reasons, of course).
The good news is that people often come back after they've had a well-deserved break and perhaps have dealt with other stuff in their lives which caused them to feel that being here wasn't helping.
I came back to read PMs and saw this.
Sorry, I have to respond. My feelings about things on here are nothing to do with other things going on in my life. I'm actually feeling pretty good at the moment. I am always somone who will express their take on things - whether that will make them popular or not. Some people don't like this, but I've also got lots of good loyal people around me in 'real life' that actually like that about me. 
Neither am I being paranoid about there being a clique - as other posters feel this too, but feel less able to express this as I've said before. I hope they will use this chance to say so! If you can't see the big love-ins that go on - then you should have gone to Specsavers! (sorry, crap joke). Or maybe it's just one big shared hallucination! People in the clique say it doesn't exist, those out of it can see it. As an example you only have to read the Christmas meet-up thread to see that at least two other people here feel they're not in the in-crowd. Maybe they're just mentally ill like me, or maybe they have a valid point that no one wants to admit!
Some people amongst the clique are quite rude, overtly or not, but are allowed to be so; they quickly gang up if one of their member is in anyway insulted. I haven't taken a 'superior line' but would like to add weight to my case but pointing out that I have more life experience then many people here - given my age and things that have happened to me. I may have agreed with some of the things they think when I was in my 20s too. I use this - and being a parent - just as people use their education, profession or own personal experience to state their case.
Personally I did take offence at Ruby's "please don't take offence" post - I'm sure lots of people can see why I would be offended and I'd be grateful if they could say so here, so at least I don't get accused of being paranoid. It's not fair to have one's personal problems used as a reason why they might not agree or be happy somewhere - these are my rational and sober thoughts.
I certainly changed on becoming a parent, from becoming more sensitive to images of violence to caring more about the future of the planet. I've heard other parents say so too. If you don't believe people do, then fine - and I don't think being a parent makes someone's points more valid (unless it's about parenting!) - as someone who struggled very hard to become a parent over a long time and almost nearly wasn't, I don't think parents are 'better' than people who aren't.
I don't see there being a conspiracy against me at all; but a feeling that there is an 'us' and 'we' (Ruby used that phrase herself), with a core of people who take over. I don't mind about don rushmore's bitchy little comments, Lime500's weirdness and Renegade's sexist act at all, there's other ways that people are excluded. I am misunderstood by some people quite clearly and so for those reasons I'm declinging to take part anymore.
PS I will probably be at the meet-up. I prefer to interact with people face to face anyway.
Well this is all very sad, and there does seem to have been an inordinate amount of ad hominem sniping going on lately, a lot of it directed at Dolly D and of a personal nature. And being told it's for her own good to shut up in a debate is simply wrong. Hopefully she will be back.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ November 11 2009, 8:33 AM GMTI came back to read PMs and saw this.
Sorry, I have to respond. My feelings about things on here are nothing to do with other things going on in my life. I'm actually feeling pretty good at the moment. I am always somone who will express their take on things - whether that will make them popular or not. Some people don't like this, but I've also got lots of good loyal people around me in 'real life' that actually like that about me.
Neither am I being paranoid about there being a clique - as other posters feel this too, but feel less able to express this. I hope they will use this chance to say so! If you can't see the big love-ins that go on - then you should have gone to Specsavers! (sorry, crap joke).
Some people amongst the clique are quite rude, overtly or not, but are allowed to be so; they quickly gang up if one of their member is in anyway insulted. I haven't taken a 'superior line' but would like to add weight to my case but pointing out that I have more life experience then many people here - given my age and things that have happened to me. I may have agreed with some of the things they think when I was in my 20s too. I use this - and being a parent - just as people use their education, profession or own personal experience to state their case.
Personally I did take offence at Ruby's "please don't take offence" post - I'm sure lots of people can see why I would be offended and I'd be grateful if they could say so here, so at least I don't get accused of being paranoid. It's not fair to have one's personal problems used as a reason why they might not agree or be happy somewhere - these are my rational and sober thoughts.
I certainly changed on becoming a parent, from becoming more sensitive to images of violence to caring more about the future of the planet. I've heard other parents say so too. If you don't believe people do, then fine - and I don't think being a parent makes someone's points more valid (unless it's about parenting!) - as someone who struggled very hard to become a parent over a long time and almost nearly wasn't, I don't think parents are 'better' than people who aren't.
I don't see there being a conspiracy against me at all; but a feeling that there is an 'us' and 'we' (Ruby used that phrase herself), with a core of people who take over. I don't mind about don rushmore's bitchy little comments, Lime500's weirdness and Renegade's sexist act at all, there's other ways that people are excluded. I am misunderstood by some people quite clearly and so for those reasons I'm declinging to take part anymore.
PS I will probably be at the meet-up. I prefer to interact with people face to face anyway.