I say there, would you like to read my script? Page 2

I said on another thread that, in sitcom, continually expressing an actors thoughts as a voice-over is pretty much the 'property' of Peep Show these days. There was some disagreement.

There seems to be more agreement on this thread and, as long as this script paints images of David Mitchell in the reader's mind, I have a very strong feeling it's dead in the water as far as commissioning is concerned.

If I'm right (and it has been known), JJC could put a lot of work into this without a hope in Hell of success.

Clearly the universal response that this reads too much like Peep Show speaks for itself; as most of you suggest, this can't go anywhere simply because of that! Which is fair enough, at the end of the day the best judgements are from the readers, not the writers!

I shall probably continue writing for this for now, simply because I'm finding (especially now I'm drafting a first version of the second episode and am not weighed down by the pilot baggage) very easy to write for these characters, and as such it's easier to be inspired into thinking up gags and comic situations to put them in - even though this won't go anywhere now, I'll keep writing because a) I enjoy it and b) It'll help milk me of more comic ideas which I can later incorporate into a new project, potentially.

Alternatively, one day I might not scrap it completely and simply remove the monologues - which seem to be the main point of comparison between it and Peep Show - and rewrite the scenes to accommodate it; at the very least it'd force me to think up new gags to fill the void. And more gags means more laughs (or so we hope!)

Martin H, if you'd like to PM me your email address, I'd still be happy send you a complete copy if you wish. I'm still eager to hear feedback on the writing in general.

Thanks for the feedback, folks. As ever it's appreciated.