c**ts

SCENE1

TIM IS HAVING A CHAT OUTSIDE HIS FRONT DOOR WITH BOB

BOB
Tim you left your front door open when you left for the weekend, so I locked it for you.

TIM
Thanks Bob.

BOB
But first of all I shat on your carpet, wiped my arse on your duvet and raped your cat.

TIM LOOKS INTO POV.

VO
Is this you? Are c**ts blighting your life?

TIM NODS SADLY BOB GIVES AN ENTHUSIASTIC THUMBS UP.

SCENE2

JANICE IS BEING INTERVIEWED BY BOB.

BOB
The job is yours, you did really well at interview.

JANICE
Thanks Bob I'll do my best.

BOB
But first of all you're going to have suck my cock and call me daddy, was your haircut expensive?

JANICE
Yes? Why?

BOB
Because I'm going to ejaculate into it.

JANICE LOOKS SADLY INTO POV, BOB GIVES AN ENTHUSIASTIC THUMBS UP.

VO

C**ts can turn up anyplace, even the work place.

SCENE3
TERRY IS ANSWERING THE PHONE.

TERRY
You mean I have to go a pool party at Micheal Barrymoore's house?

TERRY LOOKS SADLY INTO POV.

VO
And sometimes the most massive c**t can happen at the most unexpected times.

SCENE4
TERRY JIM AND JANICE ARE STANDING LOOKING INTO POV, TERRY HAS A HIGHLY DISTRESSED CAT.

VO
It doesn't have to be like this. With Whittacker's c**t insurance you'll be protected from any c**t, where ever and when ever.

PAUSE

Policy doesn't cover damage caused by c**ts...what do you expect we're insurance brokers, we're also c**ts.

SCENE5
IMAGES OF DAVID CAMERON, GORDON BROWN AND NICK GRIFFIN FLASH UP.

VO
Coming soon Whittacker's insurance for c**ts.

It kind of spins away from you at the end.

I would stick to a single person being persecuted by a variety of c**ts, then after the insurance sales pitch, have him on the phone attempting to make a claim, ending on the "we are also c**ts" line.

Good point I'll rewrite it to follow your guidelines!

v2

Quote: sootyj @ November 8 2009, 12:04 PM GMT

SCENE1

TIM IS HAVING A CHAT OUTSIDE HIS FRONT DOOR WITH BOB

BOB
Tim you left your front door open when you left for the weekend, so I locked it for you.

TIM
Thanks Bob.

BOB
But first of all I shat on your carpet, wiped my arse on your duvet and raped your cat.

JIM LOOKS INTO POV.

VO
Is this you? Are c**ts blighting your life?

JIM NODS SADLY BOB GIVES AN ENTHUSIASTIC THUMBS UP.

SCENE2

JIM IS BEING INTERVIEWED BY BOB.

BOB
The job is yours, you did really well at interview.

JIM
Thanks Bob I'll do my best.

BOB
But first of all you're going to have suck my cock and call me daddy, was your haircut expensive?

JIM
Yes? Why?

BOB
Because I'm going to ejaculate into it.

JANICE LOOKS SADLY INTO POV, BOB GIVES AN ENTHUSIASTIC THUMBS UP.

VO

C**ts can turn up anyplace, even the work place.

SCENE3
JIMN IS ANSWERING THE PHONE.

JIM
You mean I have to go a pool party at Micheal Barrymoore's house?

TERRY LOOKS SADLY INTO POV.

VO
And sometimes the most massive c**t can happen at the most unexpected times.

SCENE4
JIM IS ON THE PHONE STROKING A DISTRESSED DOG

VO
It doesn't have to be like this. With Whittacker's c**t insurance you'll be protected from any c**t, where ever and when ever.

JIM
What do you mean I'm not covered for injury caused by c**ts? That's the whole point of this insurance!

PAUSE
Policy doesn't cover damage caused by c**ts...what do you expect we're insurance brokers, we're also c**ts.

SCENE5
IMAGES OF DAVID CAMERON, GORDON BROWN AND NICK GRIFFIN FLASH UP.

VO
Coming soon Whittacker's insurance for c**ts.

View original

It could probably work if you toned it down, I like it filthy but if it is to go any further than the computer screen I think you'll probably have to bring it down a notch. At the minute it is just relying on crudeness for laughs but I think you could actually achieve the same goal with less naughty language. I like it though. All the best Sootyj.