The other night:
I walked along a dark road and met a tiddly skeleton. The skeleton said "hello".
I continued and came accross a pair of minute zombies. They said "hello".
A little later I was confronted by a diminutive witch. She said "hello".
Out of the darkness appeared a titchy Dracula. He said "hello".
And then a werewolf sprang from the gloom. He said "hello".
And I said to all of them "f**k off hello weeny"
This piece is a good example of modern non-hilarity; and therefore should never ever be placed in a folder labelled 'funny'. Such ill-constructed dialogue such as; "f**k off hello weeny", tells us that Birch is creatively unconscious, nay, Birch is creatively comatose; thus resulting in a resounding, "WTF?"
If, for one millionth of New York minute, the narrative within the context of the afore-mentioned "f**k off hello weeny" et al, were to hold; we'd have to choose between the gutter-utterings coming from the lady working in the sub-post-office down the road opposite the kebab shop; and relative noise emitted by the mother-of-all-power tools, that may (or may not) be re-chargeable.
Hope that helps.
I'm still trying to work out what stange encounters are
Quote: Minty @ November 4 2009, 3:09 PM GMTI'm still trying to work out what stange encounters are
What, you never had a bit of 'stange' sir? I could fix you up.
Quote: Stephen Birch @ November 4 2009, 12:20 PM GMTThe other night:
I walked along a dark road and met a tiddly skeleton. The skeleton said "hello".
I continued and came accross a pair of minute zombies. They said "hello".
A little later I was confronted by a diminutive witch. She said "hello".
Out of the darkness appeared a titchy Dracula. He said "hello".
And then a werewolf sprang from the gloom. He said "hello".And I said to all of them "f**k off hello weeny"
Quote: don rushmore @ November 4 2009, 4:04 PM GMT
With critiques such as those above I'd recommend you were all sent to Stangeways.
Quote: Stephen Birch @ November 4 2009, 6:32 PM GMTWith critiques such as those above I'd recommend you were all sent to Strangeways.
Don't you mean 'join you at Strangeways?
Quote: Stephen Birch @ November 4 2009, 12:20 PM GMTThe other night:
I walked along a dark road and met a tiddly skeleton. The skeleton said "hello".
I continued and came accross a pair of minute zombies. They said "hello".
A little later I was confronted by a diminutive witch. She said "hello".
Out of the darkness appeared a titchy Dracula. He said "hello".
And then a werewolf sprang from the gloom. He said "hello".And I said to all of them "f**k off hello weeny"
I don't know what that means.
Quote: Morrace @ November 4 2009, 3:04 PM GMTThis piece is a good example of modern non-hilarity; and therefore should never ever be placed in a folder labelled 'funny'. Such ill-constructed dialogue such as; "f**k off hello weeny", tells us that Birch is creatively unconscious, nay, Birch is creatively comatose; thus resulting in a resounding, "WTF?"
If, for one millionth of New York minute, the narrative within the context of the afore-mentioned "f**k off hello weeny" et al, were to hold; we'd have to choose between the gutter-utterings coming from the lady working in the sub-post-office down the road opposite the kebab shop; and relative noise emitted by the mother-of-all-power tools, that may (or may not) be re-chargeable.
Hope that helps.
Not sure what that means either.
Quote: don rushmore @ November 4 2009, 4:04 PM GMT
Or that.
Quote: Morrace @ November 4 2009, 6:50 PM GMTDon't you mean 'join you at Strangeways?
And who's that?
Look, if you don't understand it Lee then just f**k off hello weeny!
I think the picture is of Stephen Birch the author of the piece.
Pretty stange this "hello weenies" critique-ising. Perhaps you never made the halloween connection and missed the pun. I missed the the 'e' in strange but I never claimed to be a man of letters. No one's perfect and so am I! I don't make a present of a primate's, my shoulders are Broadmore. I can take it. Thanks for playing.
Would you have all been happier if the pay off was...
"They must have been hello weenies"
Quote: Stephen Birch @ November 4 2009, 9:13 PM GMTPretty stange this "hello weenies" critique-ising. Perhaps you never made the halloween connection and missed the pun. I missed the the 'e' in strange but I never claimed to be a man of letters. No one's perfect and so am I! I don't make a present of a primate's, my shoulders are Broadmore. I can take it. Thanks for playing.
Would you have all been happier if the pay off was...
"They must have been hello weenies"
I missed the pun 
I found it amusing when it just seemed to have no basis for saying 'f**k off hello weenies'.
Quote: Stephen Birch @ November 4 2009, 9:10 PM GMTPerhaps you never made the halloween connection and missed the pun.
Never mind, there'll be another pun along in a minute.
Quote: Stephen Birch @ November 4 2009, 9:10 PM GMTI never claimed to be a man of letters.
Why should you? They're on strike (at the time of this post).
Quote: Stephen Birch @ November 4 2009, 9:10 PM GMTNo one's perfect and so am I!
Oh, don't degrade yourself, Stephen - you're a perfect idiot.
Quote: Stephen Birch @ November 4 2009, 9:10 PM GMTmy shoulders are Broadmore. I can take it.
Well, you're obviously commited.
Quote: Stephen Birch @ November 4 2009, 9:10 PM GMTI can take it. Thanks for playing.
You're a Scout Master, I can tell.
Were I more of what you think I am I would be less than that which I thought I was. What about you? Please don't think the any the less of me for asking.
Quote: Stephen Birch @ November 4 2009, 9:36 PM GMTWere I more of what you think I am I would be less than that which I thought I was.
*computes* > > > (downloading...)
... more... or... less... a... twat.
Quote: Stephen Birch @ November 4 2009, 9:36 PM GMTWhat about you?
Not a lot to say really, except...
pronoun pl. 'you'
The person to whom one is speaking or writing: personal pronoun in the second person (sing. & pl.): you is the nominative and objective form (sing. & pl.), yours the possessive (sing. & pl.), and yourself (sing.) and yourselves (pl.) the reflexive and intensive; 'your' is the possessive pronominal adjective
Quote: Stephen Birch @ November 4 2009, 9:36 PM GMTPlease don't think the any the less of me for asking.
Of course not, Stephen...
Son of a Birch.
Smack My Birch Up.
Don't bring back the Birch!