Quote: Cinnamon @ September 27, 2007, 9:06 PMThis is no longer artistic disagreement, it's out and out war. If a comment irritates you then it's best to disregard it. If you're right then just sit back and feel the moral superiority flowing through you.
Agreed.
Quote: Godot Taxis @ September 27, 2007, 11:38 PMYou suspect wrong, I've never met the man. I only know him from here.
You and dannyjb1 go drinking together and make videos together under this shemales banner.
Ah, OK then.. I mistook you for someone else.
shemales he! he! you are a wag!
Sorry i just dont see how this sketch could work.
Basically its just a man beating another man up.
Like a customer walking into a bar, asking for a drink, and the barman leaping over and giving him a good hiding.
Without some sort of beginning it means nothing. Some of danny`s work on here is very good, but i just didn`t get this one.
Quote: steven @ September 28, 2007, 10:36 AMSorry i just dont see how this sketch could work.
Basically its just a man beating another man up.
Like a customer walking into a bar, asking for a drink, and the barman leaping over and giving him a good hiding.
Without some sort of beginning it means nothing. Some of danny`s work on here is very good, but i just didn`t get this one.
I see Danny hasn't got back to you yet...
Hi steven I'm not Danny. He! He! But I do know Danny and I've had a copy of the script for a while. I have never discussed with Danny how this one would be produced but it's possible that I could be the Producer or Director (getting flash now..) on this one and this is how I would do it. (Of course Danny might Produce/Direct it himself in which case this may not be valid..)
There IS a begining. If you read the setup bit at the front it says that the tutor is clearly not happy with the experience. So we have a Tutor who is not happy. I am then going to suggest to the writer (you gotta try and keep these writer types happy.. tempremental to buggery, er..) that I want some shots of students trying to ask questions but being too intimidated to do so (no dialogue) and then I'm going to ask for shots of Tutor frustration (drumming fingers, looks at watch, etc.) and I'd be look to build up a Jaws like tension waiting for the shark to pounce...
I think the sketch will be funny if we ever shoot it. But time is money and because I have no money I have little time.. we can only get a few vids shot per year! 
steven ... If you still think the sketch is not funny, mate of course, fair do's !!! 
But there is more to sketches than just scripts and a great producer and great actors can during the production process make all sorts of changes to the dross writers produce to make something decent for the great British public to consume... 
And before anybody asks.. <that was a joke> ...many a true word in jest!
Errrrm........... look guys! A pretty rainbow! Quick! Stop fighting, run outside, and gaze upon it's glory!
As I am a teacher I would sometimes quite like to punch the odd student that get on my t*ts, bless their cottons! so this def. had some resonance with me. What about, just as an added little twist at the end after the fight when the teacher guy comes back on camera he has a black eye suggesting he lost the fight.
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at large. @ September 28, 2007, 6:47 PMErrrrm........... look guys! A pretty rainbow! Quick! Stop fighting, run outside, and gaze upon it's glory!
There is no fighting going on sweetie!
Certainly not with you around...
Danny would kill me! Arms like a lumberjack he has!!
Ruby's more peaceful than a Buddhist monk we should send her to Burma with her tea and cakes 
I am not very good at World politics but why don't those Monks just call the police?
Quote: Frankie Rage @ September 28, 2007, 8:04 PMI am not very good at World politics but why don't those Monks just call the police?
that's nasty
Quote: Dale Griffiths @ September 28, 2007, 8:05 PM
But I am on the Monks side by golly! (from what little I know) Justice is in short supply in this World...!!!
Quote: ajp29 @ September 28, 2007, 8:00 PMRuby's more peaceful than a Buddhist monk we should send her to Burma with her tea and cakes
Can you imagine?
"COOEY! Just though you boys might be peckish after all that rough housing. Who is up for scones? Put the naughty gun away or no jam for you mister......"
Quote: steven @ September 28, 2007, 10:36 AMSorry i just dont see how this sketch could work.
Basically its just a man beating another man up.
And your point is?
Quote: steven @ September 28, 2007, 10:36 AMLike a customer walking into a bar, asking for a drink, and the barman leaping over and giving him a good hiding.
That sounds good. You should write it.
LOL Criticism doesn`t seem to be viewed very well on these here forums. I wasn`t having a go at the sketch, and i`m sure any expert direction would make it a very funny piece.
However the way i would write it is like this.
INT. TRAINING ROOM. DAY.
WE ARE PART WAY THROUGH A SALES COURSE, ALL THE DELEGATES HAVE JUST COMPLETED AN EXERCISE. THE TUTOR IS CLEARLY NOT ENJOYING THE EXPERIENCE. ONE OF THE DELEGATES (SIDNEY) IS HAVING PROBLEMS.
TUTOR
Right has anybody got any questions?
SIDNEY
Yes, i was just wondering how you would deal with a particularly difficult customer? You know the sort of thing. You`ve had a really shitty day, and there`s this one guy, who just keeps badgering you with question, after question, after question, and he was really starting to get on your tits. I was just wondering how you would deal...........
THE TUTOR LEAPS THE LECTURN, AND THE DESK AND POUNCES ON THE DELEGATE. THEY BOTH COLLAPSE OFF CAMERA, WE HEAR THE TUTOR PUMMELLING THE DELEGATE, THE REST OF THE DELEGATES LOOK UNCOMFORTABLY AT EACH OTHER. HE GETS UP ADJUSTS HIS HAIR AND RETURNS TO THE LECTURN.
TUTOR
Ok. Does anybody else have any questions?
THE REST OF THE DELEGATES SHAKE THEIR HEADS EMPTHATICALLY.
END
There is hardly any change to the length, and to me it works better, as it gives the sketch a beginning.
Anyway, i`ll get my coat! lol
steven: ...and a steak for that black eye!
We love criticism in critique! For my part, I think we are just discussing the sketch and why not indeed in a World full of controversy! But let's stay jolly about it pur-lease!! Also, for my part I'm more interested in the basic idea of a sketch rather than the nitty gritty of the final submission script/shooting script.
Yes, I like your alternative version, nice work. That's your take on it and if you were producing it that would be a nice way of developing the original script and correcting an anomaly that you perceive is there, and you've done a good job. It's still broadly the same although you may have veered away from what the writer wants as that is Danny not me.
Like I said in my post, I think the sketch does have a begining already but not one that you can see, clearly!
Should have gone to spec savers! 
..although I understand we'll still hit you even if you're in specs!!! What varmints we are round here!! The shame of it!