British Comedy Guide

Let's All Mock The Hippy Page 5

Quote: sootyj @ November 1 2009, 7:02 PM BST

You lack imagination. Want value for money?

1 Nag your GP you hate your cock and want to wear a frock. Soon you'll have a £20,000 sex change op with psychotherapy thrown in!

2 Get drunk and piss on something before stabbing yourself. Night in casualty, arrest and short prison sentence. 1000s more of your pounds back to you.

Hmm, now that you mention it, I do need to get my hymen reconstructed for my arranged marriage to a bloke back in India.

Then once my hymen is restored, I can bring my new husband to the UK, so he can take advantage of our glorious benefit system.

What the hell? It's only money.

Quote: Tim Walker @ November 1 2009, 7:02 PM BST

And male naturists always have odd-shaped genitals. Errr

Is that from never wearing supportive underwear??

Hymen reconstructions are just practise for dealing with David Cameron.

That way surgeons know how to stitch a c**t up.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ November 1 2009, 7:07 PM BST

Hmm, now that you mention it, I do need to get my hymen reconstructed for my arranged marriage to a bloke back in India.

Then once my hymen is restored, I can bring my new husband to the UK, so he can take advantage of our glorious benefit system.

What the hell? It's only money.

Calm down Mr Garnet! :)

You could pretty much argue that many, many medical conditions treated on the NHS are either unneccessary or could have been avoided. It doesn't mean that they shouldn't be treated though.

Quote: Tim Walker @ November 1 2009, 7:02 PM BST

And male naturists always have odd-shaped genitals. Errr

Why are you looking?

Quote: Badge @ November 1 2009, 7:07 PM BST

The tune is familiar but I'm not sure of the words.

Interesting reading - http://www.whatgas.com/tax/road-tax.aspx

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ November 1 2009, 7:09 PM BST

Calm down Mr Garnet! :)

You could pretty much argue that many, many medical conditions treated on the NHS are either unneccessary or could have been avoided. It doesn't mean that they shouldn't be treated though.

Like operations on people who read the Daily Mail. They're beyond saving.

Quote: Badge @ November 1 2009, 7:07 PM BST

The tune is familiar but I'm not sure of the words.

>_< :D

Quote: Badge @ November 1 2009, 7:07 PM BST

Poppycock!

Did you know that "poppycock" actually means "soft shit", coming from the Dutch "pappy-cack"? :)

Quote: sootyj @ November 1 2009, 7:09 PM BST

Why are you looking?

Penis envy. I'm one of the few men who suffers from it. (With apologies to Woody Allen.)

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ November 1 2009, 7:09 PM BST

Calm down Mr Garnet! :)

You could pretty much argue that many, many medical conditions treated on the NHS are either unneccessary or could have been avoided. It doesn't mean that they shouldn't be treated though.

I could also argue that I'm paying for the operations of people I don't know or care about.

There are at least 500,000 illegal immigrants in London alone and they all will require medical treatment at some point.

sootyj has argued that we need additional immigrants to work in the NHS, but my counter argument would be, if we had less immigration, thus fewer people, then we wouldn't need the additional NHS staff.

Under my new glorious reign of meritocrical malevolence - those that have resided in the UK longest and have contributed most to their keep will be the top of all lists - housing, medical, jobs, etc.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ November 1 2009, 7:16 PM BST

Under my new glorious reign of meritocrical malevolence - those that have resided in the UK longest and have contributed most to their keep will be the top of all lists - housing, medical, jobs, etc.

The only injection I want some 4th generation unemployed scumbag blocking a council flat near me to get is a lethal one.

And how does one measure contribution?

I do think if you don't work you should have to use GP surgeries etc at antisocial hours etc.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ November 1 2009, 7:16 PM BST

Under my new glorious reign of meritocrical malevolence - those that have resided in the UK longest and have contributed most to their keep will be the top of all lists - housing, medical, jobs, etc.

That way eugenics and social euthanasia lie... Errr

Quote: Tim Walker @ November 1 2009, 7:21 PM BST

That way eugenics and social euthanasia lie... Errr

There are lots of words to describe euthenasia, but "social"?

"Hey, Tim, wanna come to my euthenasia party?"

Quote: Tim Walker @ November 1 2009, 7:21 PM BST

That way eugenics and social euthanasia lie... Errr

That's right Tim - A + B = Nazi Death Camp.

Except my model about those who have contributed most for the longest time are rewarded for their investment and diligence must be insania.

Can you imagine what would happen if you applied my theory to the corporate world, you'd have people steadily rising through the ranks of companies and earning more money - that is just crazy talk.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ November 1 2009, 7:24 PM BST

There are lots of words to describe euthenasia, but "social"?

"Hey, Tim, wanna come to my euthenasia party?"

You're just bitter cos no one invites you to those sorts of party.

Me and RC are off next week to give all the Dinkas TB,

And you're not invited!

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ November 1 2009, 7:24 PM BST

There are lots of words to describe euthenasia, but "social"?

"Hey, Tim, wanna come to my euthenasia party?"

Social euthanasia is what the Nazis practised on the mentally and physically disadvantaged or disabled, Kev. Didn't mean to make it sound more fun than it is. ;)

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