hello. This is my first attempt at a script. its about a fruit agent and his clients. (who are fruit and some other foods). I'll just let you read it and if you have any questions/abuse we can do that after.
FRUIT AGENT
A man sits behind a desk in an office. The walls are covered in framed pictures of himself with other people and fruit smiling at the camera or holding awards.
The intercom buzzes and a male voice can be heard.
CARTER: A Darren Banana to see you.
JERRY: Thank you Carter send him in.
A banana opens the door and walks into the room.
JERRY: Good to see you my yellow man. Please Darren..... have a seat.
DARREN: Thanks Jerry. How's Business?
JERRY: No bad at all Darren, seen a real boon in tropical fruits. Must be something to do with lots of people liking them I suppose. Could get you some juice work if you like, couple of days a week in a carton?
DARREN: I'm done with bit parts Jerry. If I do one more ensemble piece I swear I'll go apeshit on the first Pomegranate I see. I didn't put all those seeds in them. It's not my fault they're a pain in the arse. But here come the Pomegranates " alright mate any juice going on? Got a nice light, sparkling, sweet/tart fruit flavour happening inside." Got any seeds? "Only a couple honest". No Jerry I want you to find me something big. You know the Big One. One so big that'll..................Well you see it's....... Well the thing is Jerry........ Jerry I want to take on Simon. JERRY: Simon Winters?
DARREN: Uh huh.
JERRY: This Simon Winters?
He stands and points to picture of all 3 of them in a smiling huddle all wearing loud shirts and holding large cocktails on a beach. They are also wearing sunglasses and smoking cigars.
Have you lost your seeds? He's got too big Darren. He's everywhere. Pies, crumbles, sauces, tarts, salads, baked, stewed, raw, whole, cut up into segments. He helped discover gravity and he goes with Pork Darren, He goes wth pork. Let me ask you this Darren. What do you go with Huh?
DARREN: There must be a way Jerry.
strides over to picture
We can take it all back. re-live the good times, Remember the cherry and grape party Jerry?
We were all there you, me the oranges, the melon brothers...and sisters.
JERRY: Of course I do. They were good days. The salad days.
But those days ended when Simon realised he didn't need anyone else. All the fame, the power, and the glory went straight to his core....tuned him sour.
DARREN: Then come on Jerry! Think. There must be something?
JERRY: hmmmm Well there is..........There is one thing... I got a call the other day. Not the usual though his name was Thurrer. Robert Thurrer but he traded under a different name much like yourself....erm...Moffee tor Doffee something like that. Bear with me.
they both perfrom a bear mime and laugh quietly as jerry presses the intercom button
CARTER: Yes Mr Chaif?
JERRY: Carter, that fellow who came in the other day ...
CARTER: Mr Thurrer.
JERRY: Yes and what was his shelf name?
CARTER: Toffee, Mr Chaif.
JERRY: Thank you Carter. There you go Darren. Toffee. Said he wanted to do a pie.
DARREN: No-one wants a banana pie you know that.
JERRY: No Darren no. No-one wants a banana pie. But a banofee pie Darren. a Banoffe pie is sweet, rich and very very good. Think about it. 50/50 straight down the middle. You and Robert toast of the aisles.
DARREN: Damn it you're right. Call him. tell him.......tell him I'll see him in the packet.
JERRY: Agreed. I'll call him this afternoon arrange a meeting.
looking at photo
DARREN: I'm coming for you Simon.
6 months later, a crowd chatters and mingles in a busy aftershow party for the fruits academy awards. darren, jerry and robert are chatting with two others one of which is a satsuma (marcus) the other another human Bronson. darren and robert are both holding awards.
JERRY: Yes yes top good excellent good top pie. You and Robert have really cleaned up tonight.
DARREN: Couldn't have done it without you Jerry. And you Robert.
BRONSON: Who would have thought it? Sticky and Bendy, togeher. In a pie.
ROBERT: How was the speech? I was worried it would get too sickly towards the end.
BRONSON: Not at all Robert.
DARREN: Oh He's always saying that.
JERRY: Better than that video message from Simon. You would have thought that
someone like that would make the effort. And that outfit? what was he thnking? I mean....
BRONSON: I think most people think he's gone too far. But he still wins the trophies?
MARCUS: I was glad to see Matthew Layman win the Del Monte for his work with chocolate biscuits. I know it seems commonplace now but back when he started it was unheard of.
JERRY: When I first Met Matthew, he was looking for something new. Put him in touch with Palmer at Matchmakers. Wasn't biscuits exactly but it was a start. the biggest promblem of course was Mint. Mint was everywhere. I mean, once mint had the Cornetto covered it was unstoppable.
MARCUS: But he kept going though didn't he. I remember the look on the faces everyonet. First came the Club take over backed by Blackcurrant.and well after that....
DARREN: cutting in ) After that it was crunchy mix citrus lips for every bugger and his dog.
ROBRET:, although I noticed that in the introduction they failed to mention that summer he turned up at miami airport with his pips hanging out.
BRONSON: And that controversy when he moved into the Kit Kat range?
MARCUS: Ruthless, just ruthless.
ROBERT: So how's business Jerry?
JERRY: Aaah good times Robert. Good times. Someting to do with people liking the fuit. so they buy the fruit. which means they give us money, money is worth a lot of money. It's all very compliated. You see....
..he is interupted by simon winters, he is extremley bizzarely dressed.
SIMON: Well well well, if it isn't Captain Curve Face and the Brown Wonder
JERRY: Winters! what are you doing here? I thought you were in Cario? I saw you on the video link..What are you wearing man?
SIMON: Come now, you can't believe everything you see on the television. You know that.
JERRY: What are you wearing man?
simon & jerry stare at each other in silence. simon shrugs his shoulders as if it's obvious
ROBERT: We're not scared of you Winters.
SIMON: Yes you are and we all know it. I'm serious
ROBERT: I can asssure you we're not.
JERRY: I can't take any apple seriously wearing that.
SIMON: Well I am serious and you should be scared. As we speak I'm having all the toffee sucked out of every Curly Wurly, Mars Bar, and Rolo. And that's just for starters. Got a meeting with Tim Candle at cereal bars first thing Monday morning.
ROBERT: You Newton tapping son of bitch.
DARREN: It would be all chocolately. It would never work.
SIMON: Don't tell me it'll be all chocolately.
JERRY: It's not even clothing. Simon.. I mean.. (pulls face)
SIMON: Don't mock me Jerry. I'll finish you like a yoghurt.
simon turns and strides defiently out of the room.
JERRY: Right. First thing Monday morning we unleash Banoffee hell. We'll have 2 mini Banoffee pies in a fancy carton, Banoffee milkshake, ice cream, yoghurt, Those little desserts in yoghurty type containers but aren't yoghurts. you know? little bit moussey, little bit puddingy?....
ROBERT: Like a trifle?
JERRY: Kind of Robert yes......
..........Kind of like a trifle.
he looks at the same photo of simon, darren and jerry as in part one.
We're ready for you Simon.
