Scene: A TV Studio. Int. Day.
THE SET IS TOTALLY BARE, EXCEPT FOR A BASIC SHOP COUNTER ON THE EXTREME LEFT AND A LARGE NOTICE ON THE BACK WALL THAT READS "THE 50 GREATEST COMEDY SKETCHES"
A SHOPKEEPER STANDS BEHIND THE COUNTER AS A CUSTOMER ENTERS, APPROACHES THE COUNTER AND LAYS DOWN SOME MONEY
CUSTOMER:
Four candles.
(SHOP KEEPER GIVES HIM FOUR CANDLES AND THE CUSTOMER GOES TO LEAVE)
DIRECTOR (OUT OF VISON):
Cut! What the f . . . !?!?
CUSTOMER:
What's wrong with that, then?
DIRECTOR (O.O.V):
Where are you going?
CUSTOMER:
Next sketch. I've got to get my parrot.
SHOPKEEPER:
He's got to get his parrot.
DIRECTOR (O.O.V):
We haven't finished this one yet.
CUSTOMER:
Oh, we have, mate. Didn't you get the new scripts?
SHOPKEEPER:
I got the new scripts.
DIRECTOR (O.O.V):
What new scripts?
CUSTOMER:
This morning they came. In the email.
SHOPKEEPER:
The email.
DIRECTOR (O.O.V):
I didn't get any ema . . . Are you sure?
CUSTOMER:
Cutbacks. That what it said.
DIRECTOR (O.O.V):
Cutbacks??????
SHOPKEEPER:
Cutbacks.
CUSTOMER:
We've only got an hour and we've got another 49 sketches to do.
(CUSTOMER GLANCES AT SHOPKEEPER, EXPECTING HIM TO SPEAK BUT HE DOESN'T)
CUSTOMER (CONT):
I'll get my parrot then.
(HE EXITS)
FEW MOMENTS SILENCE
CUSTOMER RE-ENTERS, WALKING SLOWLY AND UNSTEADILY AND CARRYING TWO BOWLS OF SOUP
DIRECTOR (O.O.V):
Where's the parrot??????
CUSTOMER:
I think they put him in the soup.
ENDS.