The Apple-Ducking Song
You are Gerald Wiley and I claim my £5.....
Quote: KJSmyling @ October 24 2009, 8:48 PM BSTYou are Gerald Wiley and I claim my £5.....
You are Derek Acorah & I claim my...
Where does that £5 claiming thing come from originally by the way?
Anyway, a nice funny song.
And It's good to see a few different new things in Critique.
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ October 24 2009, 8:58 PM BSTWhere does that £5 claiming thing come from originally by the way?
The national newspapers in the 1950's/60's would send a reporter to a seaside town if you spotted him you'd approach him and if you were carrying a copy of his paper you's be able to claim your £1 or whatever... see Brighton Rock by Graham Greene for more details...
I remeber them doing something similar with page 3 girls back in the eighties.
Quote: Roodeye @ October 24 2009, 6:11 PM BSTHalloween's nearly upon us - so here's a jolly song to celebrate!
The Apple-Ducking Song
I am an apple-ducker.
I duck 'em all the time.
I'm always ducking apples.
Well, it ain't no ducking crime.I duck 'em when I'm sober.
I duck 'em when I'm tight.
I duck 'em while the sun shines
And I duck all ducking night.I might duck with a sweet young thing.
I might duck with a hussy.
I might duck with your mother
Cos I'm just not ducking fussy.I'd duck your ducking daughter.
I'd duck your ducking son.
I'd duck with almost anyone
It's so much ducking fun.So don't just ducking sit there.
Get off the ducking shelf.
Go buy some ducking apples
Then go and duck yourself !
The thing is, Roodeye your title 'Apple-Ducking' is a bit dated, it's more popularly known now as 'Apple Bobbing' - so I've edited it accordingly to bring it into the 21st Century:
I am an apple-bobber
I bob 'em all the time.
I'm always bobbing apples.
Well, it ain't no bobbing crime.
I bob 'em when I'm sober.
I bob 'em when I'm tight.
I bob 'em while the sun shines
And I bob all bobbing night.
I might bob with a sweet young thing.
I might bob with a hussy.
I might bob with your mother
Cos I'm just not bobbing fussy.
I'd bob your bobbing daughter.
I'd bob your bobbing son.
I'd bob with almost anyone
It's so much bobbing fun.
So don't just bobbing sit there.
Get off the bobbing shelf.
Go buy some bobbing apples
Then go and bob yourself !
Nah, doesn't work. Best stick to your original. Sorry for any inconvenience.
It's the thought that counts, Mo - so thanks for your concern.
To be honest, I think I need someone like you to keep me abreast of 21st Century culture.
In my head, I still picture myself in a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
Quote: KJSmyling @ October 24 2009, 9:24 PM BSTThe national newspapers in the 1950's/60's would send a reporter to a seaside town if you spotted him you'd approach him and if you were carrying a copy of his paper you's be able to claim your £1 or whatever... see Brighton Rock by Graham Greene for more details...
you're not that bliddy old, are you???? 
Quote: bushbaby @ October 28 2009, 6:29 PM BSTyou're not that bliddy old, are you????
Why would I need to be old to know the answer. I wasn't around in 1066 but I have a fair old idea about Harold's march from Stamford Bridge and its effect on the Battle of Hastings...
kjs
The Battle of Stamford Bridge: 25 September 1066.
After a 4-day forced march up to Stamford Bridge, King Harold's men found the Viking raiders unarmoured.
With gleeful chants of "You're going to get your f**king heads kicked in!", Harold's men attacked and victory was theirs.
There are those who say the chant can still be heard at Stamford Bridge to this very day.
Quote: Roodeye @ October 28 2009, 7:21 PM BSTThere are those who say the chant can still be heard at Stamford Bridge to this very day.
Quote: bushbaby @ October 28 2009, 6:29 PM BSTyou're not that bliddy old, are you????
As a once-well-known Welsh comedian used to say . . . I was there !