Apparently the Chinese word for Government official isn't Mandarin. Not even close. Chinese word for the Chinese language ... nope. Chinese word for little Japanese oranges ... well I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure what it's not.
... one of those things that amuses me and no-one else.
Quote: Stan Doubt @ October 19 2009, 5:27 PM BSTCheers Kaboosh, that's useful. It seems you also have to have a 'shock factor' with those kind of jokes.
It doesn't need to be "shocking" but certainly it should be surprising.
Quote: Stan Doubt @ October 19 2009, 3:53 PM BST"I don't have any kids, but I thought I'd invest in them early. I've bought expensive pants."
any good?
'Loose-fitting boxers' might be less confusing.
Dan
Quote: AngieBaby @ October 16 2009, 10:11 PM BSTOne thing I've noticed is that a lot of stand-ups start with a little intro bit about themselves. They begin by mentioning their ethnicity, accent, sexual orientation, physical appearance and then move into their 'proper' material,
I haven't been doing that because I've been thinking 'I only have 5 minutes, no time for chit-chat.'
When you go to see a lot of stand-up, it sometimes feels like they waste a lot of time saying, 'hey, how are you..' etc. But now I'm wondering it's better to spend a minute taking about who you are, to get the audience to understand what you're all about?
What do you think?
If you have only 5 minutes, you have to grab the audience immediately.
Some comedians can do that without speaking - by sheer force of their personality and/or appearance - but most cannot and their only hope of success is to give that audience 300 seconds (not 299!) of great entertainment.
Start with a great line, finish with a great line, and the space in-between should be jam-packed with other great lines.
You know it makes sense. 
'I used to hold the world record for youngest person on the planet, briefly.'
Not mine, but a corker from twitter. I'm leaving oneliners to them that can do it I think.
My father was a baker, my grandfather was a baker, my great grandfather was a baker ... my whole family's inbred.
My father couldn't pass solids, my great grandfather couldn't pass solids, my great grand ... basically runs in the family.
this is like a cathartic hole in a tree I can shout bad jokes into.
Anyone from the Manchester area?
I'm having to go up for work in November and was after a open spot while I'm up there so any local knowledge would be very useful.
Cheers
Quote: thefridaylink @ October 20 2009, 12:17 PM BSTMy father was a baker, my grandfather was a baker, my great grandfather was a baker ... my whole family's inbred.
My father couldn't pass solids, my great grandfather couldn't pass solids, my great grand ... basically runs in the family.
this is like a cathartic hole in a tree I can shout bad jokes into.
They made me giggle.
So not to contract a Sexually Transmitted Infection, I now avoid having sex near WiFi hotspots.
I'm on the fence with this one, I feel it's a good concept but just am never quite satisfied that it's good enough, no matter how many times I rewrite it.
Quote: thefridaylink @ October 20 2009, 12:17 PM BSTMy father was a baker, my grandfather was a baker, my great grandfather was a baker ... my whole family's inbred.
As the opening of a set, or at any point in a set which is not going well, the above is an invitation to the audience to rip you to pieces.
In the middle of a set which is going well, it will get a laugh and it will endear you to the audience.
It's a funny old business, comedy.
could you elaborate? ... cos my whole set is this sort of material ... give or take and am getting torn to shreds quite a bit.
@Kaboosh ... what were your other iterations of the WiFi hotspots gag?
Quote: Kaboosh @ October 20 2009, 12:23 PM BSTSo not to contract a Sexually Transmitted Infection, I now avoid having sex near WiFi hotspots.
I'm on the fence with this one, I feel it's a good concept but just am never quite satisfied that it's good enough, no matter how many times I rewrite it.
Good concept but you're right - it does need rewriting.
There are several ways it can be improved but, if brevity is the soul of wit, you might try:
"To avoid transmitted infections, never have sex near a WiFi hotspot"
Quote: thefridaylink @ October 20 2009, 12:42 PM BSTcould you elaborate? ... cos my whole set is this sort of material ... give or take and am getting torn to shreds quite a bit.
@Kaboosh ... what were your other iterations of the WiFi hotspots gag?
Well, I started off with a slighty longer version which is a bit more anacdotal and linked into a 'teenagers are morons' set I'm working on (for an adult audience of course).
I asked a kid the other day, what precautions he takes to avoid sexually transmitted infections, he said he doesn't have sex near wifi hotspots.
Reading that back I quite like it again (slightly different, again, to the original iteration).
The current version is more open, but I want to try make sure all the one-liners are tied into a strong continuity (or loose, just well linked)
Quote: thefridaylink @ October 20 2009, 12:42 PM BSTcould you elaborate? ... cos my whole set is this sort of material ... give or take and am getting torn to shreds quite a bit.
If an audience likes you, your act will seem a hell of a lot funnier than if they don't.
If they accept you as a talented comedian, your act will seem a hell of a lot funnier than if they don't.
At any point in your set, if you say something they don't think's especially funny, their reaction will NOT be based purely on that joke: it'll be based on that joke combined with everything that's gone before.
The trick, therefore, is to win them over as soon as possible (preferably immediately) with top-rate material. After that, your weaker stuff will to a significant extent be carried through by your previous strong stuff.
When they like you, a daft joke can seem cute and endearing. When they don't like you, a daft joke just makes you look like the dickhead they always knew you were.
Quote: thefridaylink @ October 20 2009, 12:42 PM BSTcould you elaborate? ... cos my whole set is this sort of material ... give or take and am getting torn to shreds quite a bit.
@Kaboosh ... what were your other iterations of the WiFi hotspots gag?
Just practice and find a persona you're comfortable with - on your first gig you dedicated each joke to a person, that was a good structure which instantly told the audience what you were about and your personality - but you seem to have lost that?
I like the two family jokes btw - been trying to think of one around 'we are a close-knit family'...maybe they made a quilt out of my father, they made a quilt out of my mother, we are a close-knit etc...prbly not!
Oh I still dedicate jokes to people (The Rubicon gag is dedicated to my history teacher) but I do need to work on establishing more of a persona.
http://forums.chortle.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=30209
This was useful on the same subject.
I thought I was in a close knit family but it turns out they all hate me. They were pulling the wool over my eyes ...?
My father was a tailor, my grandfather was a tailor, my great grandfather was a tailor ... we have a lot of family ties.
... make it stop....