Tuumble do you dleiberately make your life sound like a lost Ken Loach film?
Leaving home Page 5
Quote: sootyj @ October 16 2009, 5:11 PM BSTTuumble do you dleiberately make your life sound like a lost Ken Loach film?
Always.
Quote: EllieJP @ October 16 2009, 3:05 PM BSTNo offence Keewik but at 28 he is too old to be living at home. I think anyone I know who's over 25 and at home just has too much done for them at home and knows they're spoilt. Kick him out, else he's never going to leave!
I know, I know, I know, but I just don't have the heart to do that. To be honest, he's had a lot of serious health problems since age 4 and we've probably mollycoddled him. I think he'll probably surprise us one day by just upping sticks. Or so I try to tell myself.
Quote: keewik @ October 16 2009, 3:02 PM BSTI didn't leave home till I got married. I was desperate to go into a flat when I was at uni, but in those days, if you left home, everybody thought you'd had a major dust-up with your folk, so I didn't want to embarrass them (plus I'd no money).
Here's the other side of the coin - my older son left at 21 because he'd to go abroad (England!)to do a PhD. I just wanted to weep for weeks because I missed him. However younger son is still here at 28, and while I don't want rid of him, it would be nice to see him set up on his own.
Well at his age social services will take him away for abusing you and not the other way around.
Quote: keewik @ October 16 2009, 5:14 PM BSTI know, I know, I know, but I just don't have the heart to do that. To be honest, he's had a lot of serious health problems since age 4 and we've probably mollycoddled him. I think he'll probably surprise us one day by just upping sticks. Or so I try to tell myself.
Tell him he's got 6 months as you want to turn his room into a sewing room/games room/gym.
Ah well, if he stays here long enough he'll have to look after me in my dotage, tee hee. (Now why did I put the forks in the fridge?)
Quote: EllieJP @ October 16 2009, 5:24 PM BSTTell him he's got 6 months as you want to turn his room into a sewing room/games room/gym/wank temple
Wankatorium? (My son would die to see his mother write this!)
Quote: keewik @ October 19 2009, 12:00 AM BSTWankatorium? (My son would die to see his mother write this!)
If you're a teenage boy any room in the house counts as a Wankatorium.
My kids moved out at 25 and 30. My turn next.
Quote: Nogget @ October 16 2009, 2:13 PM BSTWhat are these 'manly' things of which you speak?
Plumbling, brick-laying, the internal combustion engine.
Ok, I exaggerate a little. But y'know, DIY type stuff. I'm sure I was thinking of other things when I wrote the original post but don't recall what now.
Quote: EllieJP @ October 16 2009, 3:11 PM BSTYou're kidding!?
F**king parents spoiling their kids.
I was an independent person from 18 and it's done me no harm and I shall endevour to push my kids out as early as possible. GET A JOB YA BUM!
You say "I was independent", we see "I am jealous and alone".
Quote: Aaron @ October 20 2009, 2:17 AM BSTOk, I exaggerate a little. But y'know, DIY type stuff. I'm sure I was thinking of other things when I wrote the original post but don't recall what now.
One of my only tips about becoming a fully grown-up adult male is that, when it comes to plumbing/DIY/car maintenance, unless you really have a passion or interest in learning to do this stuff yourself, then it's much better to admit defeat and get someone else to do it.
I'm not necessarily talking about the small stuff. Anyone can learn to paint a wall, change a spark plug etc. But the more involved/skilled stuff? I've learnt by experience that I would always rather earn the money doing something I enjoy/am good at, and then use that money to pay someone who knows how to do the job properly.
(The key flaw in my argument, of course, is that you have to find a way to earn the money to pay for this philosophy. But in the long run it's the best option.)
In the past year, I have come to realize that I will never have to really rely on anyone to do things for me ever again. I can fix a garbage disposal, change the wax ring in a toilet, change the oil in my car, hang drywall, paint anything, and make myself a wardrobe of clothes on my sewing machine. I drove myself back and forth from chemo every time, I've taken out my own stitches, and I helped my skanky cat deliver her litter of kittens. At 33, I finally feel grown up. Roar!
I once relaid a bathroom floor. Took me a whole week. I was suicidal by the end of it. Realised I could have just worked an extra weekend on-call for an agency and paid for the work to be done (with change!). I feel a sense of achievement when completing DIY jobs, but it used to cause me too much stress. Perhaps now I'm in mid-30s I've developed some proper grown-up skills at last.
Cool that you're so independent though, Andie. Kudos to you. 
Quote: Tim Walker @ October 20 2009, 2:48 AM BSTI once relaid a bathroom floor. Took me a whole week. I was suicidal by the end of it. Realised I could have just worked an extra weekend on-call for an agency and paid for the work to be done (with change!). I feel a sense of achievement when completing DIY jobs, but it used to cause me too much stress. Perhaps now I'm in mid-30s I've developed some proper grown-up skills at last.
Cool that you're so independent though, Andie. Kudos to you.
I don't want to sound braggy. That's not my intention. I was raised in the belief system that, as a girl, I'd go to college, but with the idea that I'd snag a husband and never have to work again. I was raised to be seen and not heard. Well, I went off to school, with the intention of becoming a pediatrician dealing with very ill children, maybe oncology, much to my parents' disappointment. However, I quickly realized that I was more of the "cuddle and hug the kids and tell them it will be okay" type, rather than the healer. So, I switched to English lit and creative writing. Then life happened and that all went to the wayside.
Now, years later, I'm actually comfortable in my knowledge that I'm a great mom, who doesn't have a great marriage or job, but who is raising kids that will one day be great adults. I'm a damned good writer and I'm willing change my whole personality type to make it work for me. It will most likely mean leaving a very clingy, needy extended family behind, but oh well. They need to grow up a little too.