Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 14 2009, 9:51 PM BSTIn 2010, after literally ten thousand years of Internet flirting, Chipolata and EllieJP finally got it together in a Travel Inn near Junction 3 of the M4.
Not knowing what to expect, Ellie brought her 'suitcase of love', filled with a variety of exotic implements and imaginative costumes and prepared herself for the sexual adventure that lay ahead. Imagine her disappointment when Chip said that all he wanted to do was snuggle and talk about his feelings. The last straw came when Chip broke down in tears and said that he was never his Mother's favourite and would Ellie sing him a lullaby?
As she packed her case and prepared to leave, Chip begged her not to reveal his moment of weakness on the BCG forum. She kept her word up to a point but did reveal all to Aaron, zooo and Paul W.
From then on, whenever Chip made one of his rude comments, he was met with cryptically sarcastic messages from the Forum Mods and lots of 'wink' emoticons. It crushed his spirit and he eventually stopped posting on the BCG.
It wasn't all bad news for Chip though, in 2012 he finally came out and married Endemol supremo Peter Bazzalgette. They were last seen on a massive yacht cruising the Greek Isles and were reported to be 'very happy'.
Ellie on the other hand was arrested for running a comedy brothel at the Edinburgh Festival in 2013 called 'Fringe Benefits'. In her defence, she blamed her abusive marriage to Don Rushmore and was given a suspended sentence.
Ellie now lives in a small cottage in Durham with 15 cats and is reported to be 'very insane'. Ruby Mae drops in from time to time to check on her and take the cat turds out of her hair, but she's a shadow of her former smiling, ballon cock wearing self.
Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Wait till I see you Saturday night. I'm going to boob hug you.
Quote: Tuumble @ September 15 2009, 12:56 AM BSTTim magazine - a ripping (if messy) read for all of us...
Ooo, is this one for my Worst idea for a magazine thread?