Stand up/monologue

So I've tried writing a stand-up or monologue, same thing kinda?

Lol

http://pc.celtx.com/project/zssRpZizPFX0/view/http://celtx.com/res/1kEqvojZWTHA

Tell me if I'm on the right path or any comments, be honest I can take it

Cheers!

I really enjoyed it Leevil, my favourite bits that made me chuckle were

'if you wake up to the sound of Chris Moyles playing on the radio, things can only get better.'

* I thought up a little alternative here, hope you don't mind. How about something like;
" surely the only thing worse than waking up to the sound of Chris Moyles in the morning is waking up next to Chris Moyles in the morning. Or to be honest the worst thing of all is waking up in the morning and you are actually Chris Moyles, then you know you are going to have a shit day"

And this was priceless,

'I could hear the dog next door still barking from last night, I shouted out of the window to get it to stop, but she told me to "Piss off and mind my own business".'

Cheers Dale, yes I like your suggestion, I may steal it

I liked it too but it reads like an actor playing a stand up if you know what I mean. and use different descriptions for "waking up"

I like the frosties part, you could turn it round.

"I'd run out of frosties so I decided to put sugar on my cornflakes"

I liked the dog barking gag and the Frosties bit. Chris Moyles being awful I think has been done a lot but I liked Dale's alternative take.

Quote: Dave Saunders @ September 22, 2007, 12:01 PM

I liked it too but it reads like an actor playing a stand up if you know what I mean. and use different descriptions for "waking up"

I like the frosties part, you could turn it round.

"I'd run out of frosties so I decided to put sugar on my cornflakes"

View original

Cheers dude, yeah it was originally meant to be a monologue but I wasn't sure where it was going so it's floating between that and a stand up piece.

I'm just going to write tons and tons of it and the edit it down into a couple of minutes material and see if it works as a standup routine.

Cheers Frankie, yeah the Chris Moyles thing is a bit old, easily changed though

Wow Leevil, that's better than the normal crap you serve up on here

Only joking ofcourse...Or as Vic Reeves used to say.... " Or am I "

Quote: Caroline Mack @ September 23, 2007, 7:17 PM

Wow Leevil, that's better than the normal crap you serve up on here

Only joking ofcourse...Or as Vic Reeves used to say.... " Or am I "

View original

Are you?

This is definitely more of a monologue than a stand up piece. I would take it in that direction.