British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 30

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ September 30 2009, 9:59 AM BST

The Sun supports Cameron.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2661063/The-Sun-Says-Labours-lost-it.html

Are we going to get one of those 97-style "us wot won it" headlines come May?

1992 actually.

And in answer, that's very unlikely. Everyone thought that Labour would sweep to power then, and the country's mood and Westminster notion was heading that way. This time, it's far too close to call, and anyone who is choosing to stick a limb out and do so, is going for a Conservative victory.

They could do an "It's the Sun wot predicted it first" line though.

Quote: Tim Walker @ September 30 2009, 10:22 AM BST

Wasn't that headline from 1992, after the "unexpected" Conservative victory? Errr

Tim, Aaron: fight over who noticed my mistake first, and I shall prostrate myself before the winner.

:D

(It was me. :| )

Sorry, I made another mistake. I meant to say I would "prostate" myself in front of the winner.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ September 30 2009, 2:55 PM BST

Tim, Aaron: fight over who noticed my mistake first, and I shall prostrate myself before the winner.

I'm wired directly into the mainframe, so it was me. I just chose not to comment on it for a number of hours.

Whistling nnocently

Well I was actually eligible to vote in 1992, so I think your argument falls down there. Whistling nnocently

God bless the French!...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8296578.stm

:O

Mr Mitterrand, 62, has denied being a paedophile, saying the term "boys" was used loosely.

I'm sure they were after he as done with them.

Laughing out loud

This took place in my city about 5 hours ago. The moral of the story: crime doesn't pay, but Texans will give you a chair to sit on after you've been shot.

A man suspected of breaking into a Southeast Bexar County home early Thursday morning died after he was shot by the homeowner and crashed his vehicle while fleeing from the home, authorities said.

Authorities believe Cardell Deon Joseph, 24, of San Antonio, kicked in the back door of a home in the 11400 block of South Foster Road around 5 a.m., said Deputy Ino Badillo, spokesman for the sheriff's office.

A man who owns the home heard the ruckus, Badillo said, and shot the suspected thief once in the ribcage with a semi-automatic weapon. Joseph ran out of the home without taking anything, authorities said, and the homeowner called 911.

The suspect fled southwest in an SUV on South Foster Road, but lost control of the vehicle and crashed into a chain link fence. He then rolled several times before the SUV landed on its side in the front yard of a home in the 11800 block of South Foster Road, Badillo said.

A teenager who lives on the second floor of the home looked out of her window and saw Joseph get out of the vehicle and stumble around. She alerted her father, who approached the man and, believing he was drunk, sat him down in a chair on the home's front porch, authorities said.

Joseph said, "take me to the hospital," to the homeowner, who then called 911, authorities said. Badillo said first responders arrived quickly at the home, located across the street from the Harmony Fire Department, and conducted cardiopulmonary resuscitation on the man. Authorities arrived and determined the man's clothing description and gunshot wound matched that of the suspected home invader. He was declared dead on the scene at 5:45 a.m., Badillo said.

It is unknown whether Joseph died from the gunshot or the crash.

Authorities are investigating whether or not Joseph matches the description in any other recent home invasions.

Quote: Curt @ October 8 2009, 12:30 PM BST

I'm sure they were after he as done with them.

Huzzah for that pun!

http://www.digitalspy.com/music/a181017/davy-jones-attacks-monkees-bandmates.html?imdb

This made my day. I always knew he was a twit, but never had proof.

I saw Davy Jones once when I was working at St Richard's Hospital in Chichester. He was just quietly sitting there alone in the A&E waiting room - his little arms folded, looking both slightly sinister and enormously smug at the same time.

Was he the one who's horse's willies kept getting sliced up?

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