"I went to a club the other night, and accidentally broke the disco ball. I now have about 7000 years bad luck ................... still had a cracking time though."
*holds head in shame*
Surreal One Liners or Spontanious Thought Page 2
Quote: Adametri @ October 10 2009, 10:50 PM BST"I went to a club the other night, and accidentally broke the disco ball. I now have about 7000 years bad luck
Quote: Adametri @ October 10 2009, 10:50 PM BST"I went to a club the other night, and accidentally broke the disco ball. I now have about 7000 years bad luck ................... still had a cracking time though."
*holds head in shame*
Make it even punchier;
"I went to a club last night and accidently broke the disco ball. That's 7 thousand years bad luck."
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ October 10 2009, 10:54 PM BSTMake it even punchier;
"I went to a club last night and accidently broke the disco ball. That's 7 thousand years bad luck."
Good idea. Although I'd still keep the "still had a cracking time" bit, aswell.
Carter USM The music that Nobody Likes.
Tenacious D, F**k her gently
Last night I ate a mirror. Great for cleansing the bowels - you could see your face in my arsehole this morning.
Welcome Helen. :-)
"I ate a mirror the other day, which gave me terrible constipation. After finally managing to pass the damn thing, I can confirm it was a shattering experience."
"Last night I ate a mirror, which shattered as soon as it hit my stomach. I have managed to compensate for the bad luck though ......... I chewed the paw off one of my rabbits."
I wear a lucky rabbits foot around my neck, I think she was Miss Playboy 2001?
Quote: Leevil @ October 11 2009, 3:21 PM BSTI wear a lucky rabbits foot around my neck, I think she was Miss Playboy 2001?
You'd have to use 'lucky bunny's foot' instead.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ October 10 2009, 10:54 PM BSTMake it even punchier;
"I went to a club last night and accidently broke the disco ball. That's 7 thousand years bad luck."
I'd add "but ha! The next day I found out I have an incurable disease so I'm not gonna even live a tiny part of that, who's laughing now."
Probably just me...
How do you like your eggs in the morning?
All over the floor, bedsheets and walls[/JacktheRipper]
Quote: Gregor Shamsa @ October 11 2009, 4:31 PM BSTHow do you like your eggs in the morning?
All over the floor, bedsheets and walls[/JacktheRipper]
I don't think this would work as stand up however I find it very very amusing
I once sneezed on a globe. It caused the great flu pandemic.
I knew that obesity was a problem one day when I looked at my pupils. My eyes were huge.
Have you ever taken hallucinogens? I did, I couldn't believe my eyes.
Quote: Adametri @ October 10 2009, 10:50 PM BST"I went to a club the other night, and accidentally broke the disco ball. I now have about 7000 years bad luck ................... still had a cracking time though."
*holds head in shame*
LOL!!!!
Quote: Lee Henman @ October 11 2009, 12:03 AM BSTLast night I ate a mirror. Great for cleansing the bowels - you could see your face in my arsehole this morning.
Welcome Helen. :-)
hello Lee, thanks for the welcome! Like your edgy humour! Good to see a vivian fan!!...though I still prefer rik 
hehe I am really enjoying reading all your responses some really funny stuff! Adametri you have such a funny sence of humour.
Quote: ellipsis @ October 12 2009, 12:34 PM BSTI once sneezed on a globe. It caused the great flu pandemic.
I knew that obesity was a problem one day when I looked at my pupils. My eyes were huge.
Great Stuff!! Very Clever 
"Last Night I Ate A Mirror Now I Cant Stop Reflecting On Things"
Last night I ate a Mirror, On reflection it was a bad idea, It was better than the Daily Sport though, made me throw my tits up. I'll get this diet back on track tommorrow and eat the Metro.
(Knew I should've gone to bed)