A Funeral

What do you think, folks? Topical or what?

INT. - CHURCH - DAY

A FUNERAL IS TAKING PLACE. A MAN IS STANDING AT THE FOOT OF THE COFFIN, FACING THE CONGREGATION. HE SPEAKS SOMBRELY.

MAN
Perhaps you will forgive me if I turn from my own feelings to the words of another splendid bugger - WH Auden. This is actually what I want to say.

HE PAUSES.

MAN (CONT'D)
Stop all the clocks.

FREEZE FRAME FOR A LONG PERIOD - LONGER THAN IS COMFORTABLE, AND THEN SOME MORE.

VOICE (O.S)
Get the f**k on with it!

ACTION CONTINUES

MAN
Cut off the telephone...

END.

Needs a bit more possibly?

Or a bit less?

Sorry Mr Badge but I don't get this

W. H. Auden (From Wikipedia)

"After his death, some of his poems, notably "Funeral Blues" ("Stop all the clocks") and "September 1, 1939", became widely known through films, broadcasts and popular media."

In fact 'Badge' (famous within the BCG) wrote a sketch about it. Dame Dolly Dagger, upon reading it commented, "Needs a bit more possibly?" - swiftly followed by Mister Nigel Kelly's, "Sorry Mr Badge but I don't get this"

Renegade Carpark was unavailable for comment.

None of that aristocratic 'sir' nonsense with me Morrace boy, it's Mister Nigel Kelly to you.

Excellent, a swift edit from your good self, that's more like it.

Actually, I did consider " - swiftly followed by transvestite, cock-sucking, rent-boy, Mister Nigel Kelly - but didn't want to get banned.

Quote: Morrace @ October 10 2009, 1:28 PM BST

Actually, I did consider " - swiftly followed by transvestite, cock-sucking, rent-boy, Mister Nigel Kelly - but didn't want to get banned.

View original

I've never been a rent-boy.

Thanks for reading. Maybe I should have mentioned 4 weddings somewhere, or possibly it's one for the scrap pile.

Hey, I got the WH Auden reference - I just didn't get the sketch as such (well was expecting something to happen too).

Quote: Badge @ October 10 2009, 12:10 AM BST

Or a bit less?

View original

Less is better.
End it on "AND THEN SOME MORE."