Surreal One Liners or Spontanious Thought

Ii often have these flashes of Surreal One Liners or random thoughts. Ive always been interested in writting comedy I just don't know whether I have the creative potencial, its embarrassing asking other. Here's a couple of exaMples, feel free to be brutal, I do appreciate honesty. many thanks.

1/

"Last Night I Ate A Mirror Now I Cant Stop Reflecting On Things"

2/

"What happends to ghosts which fall into the blackhole - Do they disappear? Do they come out in pieces (emotionally), are they just re-enlightened? Or is the Blackhole merely the ghosts washing machine?"

I have a pet mirror, I see so much of my self in her.

You're not alone, Helen. You'll like Steven Wright.

Steven Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an Academy Award-winning American comedian, actor and writer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, witty, philosophical and sometimes deeply confusing or nonsensical jokes and one-liners with intentionally contrived situations.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IhczNP7I3g&feature=related

Oh - "Last Night I Ate A Mirror Now I Cant Stop Reflecting On Things" might work better this way:

"Last Night I Ate A Mirror; I don't think it was a good idea... on reflection"

BTW - Welcome!

Lsat night I ate a mirror. And spent 36 hours in surgery I know longer have a small intestine and will need a colostomy for life

to you all - and welcome Helen!

and to Steven Wright.

(I thought you meant the DJ at first.)

x

Helen's is better because it makes sense in a literal way, i.e. she can't stop reflecting on objects, as well as the figurative way.

Using 'on reflection' is just using an expression that has a word that has two meanings, rather than a full sentence, so it lacks the comedic punch. And besides, the 'on reflection' gag is very old. I like your spin on it Helen.

The ghost stuff doesn't work, for me. D'you have anything else?

Quote: Stu R @ October 9 2009, 1:45 PM BST

Helen's is better because it makes sense in a literal way, i.e. she can't stop reflecting on objects, as well as the figurative way. Using 'on reflection' is just using an expression that has a word that has two meanings, rather than a full sentence, so it lacks the comedic punch.

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Very interesting points, Stu R - and may I say, eloquently put. However...

My re-work of Helen's line "Last Night I Ate A Mirror Now I Cant Stop Reflecting On Things" into - "Last Night I Ate A Mirror; I don't think it was a good idea... on reflection", is the defining characteristic of modern hilarity no less; and therefore well within the genre of post-cultural comedy. The premise of such carefully constructed dialogue such as my carefully thought out pause, "... on reflection", states that discourse comes from my hyper-creative comedic brain , resulting in 'lol' multiplied by 1,000,000 - and then some.

It could be said that if neo-dialectic comic narrative within the context of the afore-mentioned line, "Last Night I Ate A Mirror; I don't think it was a good idea... on reflection" - holds; we have to choose between the sub-textual paradigm of context and relative 'Lol Factor' that may, or may not be found within, as you say, "a word that has two meanings" - or to give it the correct term - a double-entendre.

Yeah but you're gay and so is your mum.

I don't think it's anymore surreal than any other kids jokes. Still good though, if you wrote them yourself.

Quote: Morrace @ October 9 2009, 5:25 PM BST

Shit! Do I know you?

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It's me son.

Quote: Morrace @ October 9 2009, 5:09 PM BST

Very interesting points, Stu R - and may I say, eloquently put. However...

My re-work of Helen's line "Last Night I Ate A Mirror Now I Cant Stop Reflecting On Things" into - "Last Night I Ate A Mirror; I don't think it was a good idea... on reflection", is the defining characteristic of modern hilarity no less; and therefore well within the genre of post-cultural comedy. The premise of such carefully constructed dialogue such as my carefully thought out pause, "... on reflection", states that discourse comes from my hyper-creative comedic brain , resulting in 'lol' multiplied by 1,000,000 - and then some.

It could be said that if neo-dialectic comic narrative within the context of the afore-mentioned line, "Last Night I Ate A Mirror; I don't think it was a good idea... on reflection" - holds; we have to choose between the sub-textual paradigm of context and relative 'Lol Factor' that may, or may not be found within, as you say, "a word that has two meanings" - or to give it the correct term - a double-entendre.

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To use this in stand-up I'd go for:

"last night I ate a mirror. Not a good idea. On reflection."

That has a better pace.

Last night I ate a huge mirror - it was shattering.

You can go all Milton Jones on this. E.g - (I just made this up) "I once stood on a drawing pin. It left the Mona Lisa on my foot."

Quote: Leevil @ October 9 2009, 9:41 PM BST

Last night I ate a huge mirror - it was shattering.

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That might work better as: "I walked into a mirror. Shattering experience."

me wants to go and do more stand-up now.

Quote: Leevil @ October 9 2009, 9:41 PM BST

Last night I ate a huge mirror - it was shattering.

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Hey I like this! My kind of humour hehe

I preferred Morrace/Dolly's reworking.

What's a mirr? A compact mirror.